The - Ripple - Effects

Under Sealed Orders - 2011

2012-01-05T20:42:00.000-05:00

{author's note: This was an update that I sent to some folks who are geographically far away from me. Thought a few of you blog readers might enjoy a "more personal" kind of update, since I usually only do these once a year. Also, you may have noticed posts popping up and others merging...that's just all part of this end-of-year/new year cleanup! Hopefully this blog will become a little more lively now!}

Coming to the end of an oldyear is like dusting off an old atlas and tracing the map of where you’ve beento where you are. The land that my feet stood upon a year ago is faraway. My mind makes mental trails through the cobwebs of memories, thepages of journals that have tucked away the weeks and months, looking forthat compass that has directed my footsteps right up to the threshold of2012.

IfI had to choose just one word picture to describe the last 365 days, it wouldbe that of a ship traveling “under sealed orders.”

In a sermon delivered in 1933, ChaplainPeter Marshall explained his connotation to the phrase:

“I saw a graydestroyer slipping hurriedly from port in response to urgent orders. Iwatched the crew hurrying their preparations for sailing, watched them cast offthe mooring hawsers. Saw the sleek ship get underway, as she rose to meet thelazy ground swell of a summer evening, with her Morse lamp winking on thecontrol bridge aft . . . watched her until she was lost in the mists of theNorth Sea.

She was a mysteryvessel. She had sailed “under sealed orders.”

Not even her officersknew her destination or the point of rendezvous.

So, in like manner,all the pioneers of faith have gone out – and all the explorers . . . Abraham,of old. Columbus. The Cabots. Magellan. Balboa. John Smith. Peary. MacMillan.Scott. Lindbergh. Byrd. They all went out in faith, not knowing what lay ahead.

Sometimes this goingout in obedience to God’s command is more dramatic than at other times,sometimes more spectacular, sometimes more brave,

But always a ventureinto the unknown.”

[A Man Called Peter; biography of Peter Marshall]

Always aventure into the unknown.

Although my life is a far cry from daring exploits or pioneering adventures, I can still taste a bit of the salty spray of faith that comes up from the waves of a ship being directed by God on this journey. In many ways, this year has been a year of journeying - bridging the vast expanse between where I left and wherever the destination will be.

The Lord has been building upon a foundation that He laid yearsago by allowing me to continue in many various ministries around home thisyear. I have enjoyed work in the Second RP office and seeing God add to thechurch there through new leadership and strengthened relationships within thebody of Christ. I have also continued assisting Dr. Blackwood (senior pastor)weekly in various ways as he cared for his wife until the Lord took her home inNovember. God also provided several part-time jobs throughout the year,including a regular childcare job (for 3 siblings under age 5) whichfilled up much of my summer and fall with rainy day stories, trips to the park,crayons, tricycles, and little kiddo hugs.

Growing friendships havealso been a significant part of this year. I am so grateful that the Lord hassurrounded me closely with mentors who speak truth into my life, family thathelp me to grow more like Christ, close friends that continually encourage andpoint me to Jesus, and others that I can share what God has done. Throughthings such as the luncheon ministry to senior citizens at church,participation in Bible studies with college students (in the spring) and adults(in the fall), regular girls’ meetings and outings, and community events andconferences, I have learned more of my Father’s friendship and love with Hispeople through the display of it in people all around me. Oh, and since we’retalking about “growing” friendships – I have to mention the most important onethat I’ve witnessed this year: the relationship of my older brotherGreg and Laura Platt who are getting married in March, 2012. YES! {After 24 years, I’m finally getting a sister! Just a leeetle excited here,folks.}

My family - Christmas 2011

As God continues to shapeand develop a particular vision for this stage of my life, He has also allowedme to learn lots of new things this year. Courses in biblical counseling (inthe spring) and missions (in the fall) helped to further explore areas ofinterest and gave me a greater heart for what He is doing in the lives ofpeople both near and far. Further development in methods of communication (suchas web design, photography, and writing) gives me excitement as I see God usingthem to proclaim His name throughout the world. Where will He use apair of willing hands? For now, it’s doing the “next thing” in front of me asHe keeps refining, stretching, and growing.

This year has also been one of increasing in the knowledge andlove of my Lord. It has been a rough one in many respects, but I have seenglimmers of hope through suffering as God continues to show me more of Hisgrace and intense love.

Whether it be building, growing, learning, developing, orincreasing, I have seen God moving this vessel through charted waters. Whereare all these things leading? Well, that is still “under wraps” of Providence.The beauty of “sealed orders” is that I can’t strain through the mist to try tosee my destination. I can’t focus on the tiny strip of land in the distance asbeing the goal. Rather, my eyes have nowhere else to look except to the lovingface of my Lord… seeking and seeing Him in that unknown.

As 2011 draws to a close, I can only look back with praise on mylips for my Savior Jesus Christ, who has once again shown Himself to befaithful and true, and worthy of my wholehearted trust.

“Then said the other,

Do you see yonder shiningLight?

He said, I think I do.

Then, said the Evangelist,

Keep that Light in youreye…”

-Pilgrims’ Progress

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T16:38:00.000-05:00

''Hewas poor, that he might make us rich.

Hewas born of a virgin that we might be born of God.

Hetook our flesh, that he might give us His Spirit.

Helay in the manger, that we may lie in paradise.

Hecame down from heaven, that he might bring us to heaven...

That the ancient of Days should be born. that he who thunders in theheavens should cry in the cradle...

thathe who rules the stars should suck the breast;

thata virgin should conceive;

thatChrist should be made of a woman, and of that woman which himself made,

thatthe branch should bear the vine,

thatthe mother should be younger than the child she bare,

andthe child in the womb bigger than the mother;

thatthe human nature should not be God, yet one with God.

Christ taking flesh is a mystery we shall never fully understand till we cometo heaven. If our hearts be not rocks, this love of Christ should affectus.

Beholdlove that passeth knowledge! Eph 3:19''

-Thomas Watson, Puritan preacher, 1620-1686

Margie Blackwood - Memorial

2011-12-18T22:00:00.000-05:00

The setting sun streamed in through the half-opened blinds,glistening behind her neatly-piled white hair like a halo, and illuminating thefaces of two dozen youngsters on folding chairs. She held an old worn book inher lap, the portal through which she would usher her little audience weeklyinto rousing stories of Covenanters with a Scottish accent.

A slight rustling sound came from one of the rows. Her narratingvoice stopped, and she looked over her glasses at the two whisperers. For amoment, nobody dared to move. In a gentle voice, she broke the silence bybeginning to tell the familiar story of a kitty cat that once snuck into churchand stole the attention of the worshippers away from God. It isn’t enough thatyou aren’t paying attention to what God wants you to learn, she would kindlyreprimand, but you are also breaking the 8th commandment by stealing time awayfrom everyone else.

Lesson learned. Attention was quickly restored and she resumed thebook. She had won the respect of even the youngest of listeners, becauseeveryone knew she loved. Everything about her spoke that louder than words.

Her name was Mrs. Margie Blackwood, the wife of our pastor. I was one of the young children sitting in her little class every week.From some of my earliest days, she became a face and a name that I loved.

She’s the one who introduced me to the story of the Two Margarets,who both gave their lives because they refused to recant the name of JesusChrist. I wondered if my faith was strong enough to do the same. She would tellof her salvation testimony and how she came to say “All I want is what You want,God. I don’t want what I want anymore” about everything. I began to say thesame thing in my prayers and learned to truly mean it with all of my heart.

"Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be"

Years passed. I grew into my twenties. Mrs. B was no longerteaching little groups of children on Sunday evenings. Yet, she still keptteaching me – without words.

Another sunshine day found the two of us at her piano, her mostbeloved instrument. Her memory had faded. Her hair was no longer neatly piledby her own skillful hands. The hands touched the black and white keys with arare sense of familiarity. She played all the old favorite tunes without musicand I learned to call out the ones from her favorite eras. Her husband,Roy, joined her that afternoon, as he had so many times during their decades ofmarriage. Together, I watched as they made harmony together – her on the pianoand him singing with gusto the old love songs that she had written to him.

Nearly 63 years of marriage between the two, and I, as a singleyoung girl, watched the two of them closely during this autumn season of life.The evidence of God’s grace in their lives sang as strongly and as plainly asthe notes that danced out of the old piano. They had weathered many bumps andbruises along the way, which seemed to only have brought them closertogether.

Now, when the years had passed and his wife was unable to doanything, I watched as he laid down his strength to care for her every need.

For nearly the last two years of Mrs. B’s life, I had theprivilege of visiting her nearly every week. She taught me how to just enjoyhaving “a good day” when she spent it at the piano or re-reading old letters.She taught me that God’s faithfulness is greater than physical disabilities.His peace can surround a mind that has lost the ability to recognize faces,because the truth of God’s Word lies deeper still. She taught me what it lookslike to walk through the valley of the shadow of death with no fear about theother side. But most significantly of all, she and her husband taught me whatGod’s unending and sacrificial love for His Bride looks like, as I watched astrong marriage and unfailing commitment continue right to the very end.

One evening in November, I drove home into a glorious goldensunset emblazoned across the sky, thinking about my friend who had just goneHome. Heaven seemed a little more real and near to me now. The best had finallycome for her. The words that she had written years ago had been proven true:

In the yonder world of heaven there’s no need for a sun.

There’s no need for a moon to shine for light.

In that blessed hour, I will see my Lord face to face,

And forever live with Him, where all has been made right.

…O glorious heaven when my soul will attain perfect joy,

Beyond the mountain top when I have finished my race,

I will rest eternally upon the arm of God

Then, I will look upon my precious Lord – face to face.

Mgb 7/3/97

Three Little Words

2011-11-25T22:00:00.000-05:00

It's the day afterThanksgiving. My heart is still filled with the tastes of His goodness - thequiet moments in between the bustling of family to savor every flavor.

There is just a certainair of familiarity that comes with family gatherings - a warm "yes, Iknow these people" kind of feel. There isn't pretense or formality.It's the kind where you can switch drink glasses and slip food onto others'plates. Or when you can sack out on the couch after the big meal and nobodygets offended. Or the amused significant glances shared across the tablebecause you know exactly what the other is thinking.

Yes, I know these people.

Today, I avoided thehustle and bustle of the stores and instead blared Christmas music through mycar speakers as I went for my weekly visit to a dear friend. He had just losthis wife of 63 years last week. As I rounded the corner to his room, the therapistpulled me aside and whispered: "His eyes just lit up when you walkedin!" I smiled, because my heart had lit up too.

Yes, I know these people.

These kinds of encounterswarm my heart to its very core. It encircles me like a big warm hug. I'm so gladthat God created us to be relational beings -- so we can have just a taste ofsomething Greater through the love and friendship of others. A little bit ofHimself.

So, as I curled up bymyself, late on the day after Thanksgiving, I had three little words pulled inclose to my heart.

He knows me.

I just sit still, lettingthose words wash over my heart and calm my mind. They sink deeply into the mostpersonal corners, bringing security that drowns me in its wake. If I couldfully drink of what these words really mean...

Because He knows me, Ican trust Him to pick me up when I fail miserably {Ps. 103:14}

Because He knows me, Ican stand in His righteousness, clean and forgiven, with confidence. {Jer.23:6}

Because He knows me, Ican always guarantee arms that will be holding me.{Ps.139:5}

Because He knows me, I amfree to give of myself to others without needing anything in return. {Col.2:10}

Because He knows me, Ican trust Him with my dreams for the future. {Jeremiah 29:11}

Because He knows me, I canwalk confidently knowing that my steps are perfectly marked. {Ps.139:3}

Because He knows me, Iknow He has experienced every memory with me. {Ps.139:3}

Because He knows me, Ican be assured that my life will not be wasted {John 15:5}

Because He knows me, Ican rest in His acceptance of me above all others {Ephesians 1:6}

Because He knows me, I ampart of a family that shares a common bond in Jesus {Eph. 5:30}

Because He knows me, Ihave free access to all that He is {1 Cor. 1:30}

All that, and so muchmore. All because Jesus has redeemed me and called me by name as His own. Evenwith the abundance of friends that I can share my heart with, none of them canunderstand, truly understand, like Jesus. Heknows me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. What security. Whatconfidence. What hope.

So tonight, as everyother day of the year, I want to just thank God for those three little words.

Jesusknows me.

ThisI love.

Remembering 9/11

2011-09-11T22:37:00.000-04:00

Remembering is a gift. Itis that tiny shining thread that weaves together the memories of past everydaybreaths and links them intrinsically with Providence. The tapestry of the mindis adorned with the brilliant colors of faithfulness, security, love, strength,and ultimate sovereignty of the One who orders all things rightly.

Sometimes, it’s thosevery memories that give the strength to carry on… when wrapped up in the warmthof what God has done.

But what do I do with thedark and faded places of that very cloth that is made up of the past? Thosesharp splinter memories that make my heart bleed? The past tears that blot outthe beauty? Those ugly rips and tears that don’t make any sense?

My country had to facethat question this year. Ten years later and the memories are still fresh fromevil that spilled blood on this land. The haunting faint smell of smoke stilllingers on the beams erected to remind us not to forget.

The scenes are foreveretched in our minds. For many of us, old enough to understand even the basicramifications of such a tragedy, find it hard to forget. Hard to understand.Hard to forgive.

Yet, remembering is agift. Still, even in the darkest of times.

For even with the painand agony of the human heart comes a realization that something isn’t the wayit should be. When I look back on the events of September 11, 2001, thememories give more perspective to the life that I now live, the freedoms that Ienjoy, and the sacrifices that have been made. It also makes me yearn for theday when all things that have been wronged will be set right – on that greatand glorious day when Jesus returns.

It is my prayer thatthese kinds of remembrances will point all of us to Christ.

And finally,we pray that you wage war against the terror in our own hearts—our rebellionagainst you, our pride, our worry, our disobedience, our hatred, our cowardice,our intolerance and our overtolerance. May we see every disaster—be ithurricane, earthquake, tsunami, or terrorism—as an opportunity and a summons torepent. Help every American to realize—as well as every Chinese, Korean, andArab Muslim—that far worse will befall us on that day when the rocks andmountains crumble and people all over the world flee from the wrath of theLamb. May every moment of adversity and prosperity point us to Christ. Keep oureyes fixed on the Author and Perfector of our faith. Let us run to Christ. Letus cling to Christ. Let us find forgiveness in Christ. Let us find assurance inChrist. For the only true promise of peace, in this life and in the next, isfound in Christ. We gladly confess that he is our only comfort in life and indeath.
Sometrust in chariots; some trust in horses; some trust in the Koran; some trust intheir wealth; some trust in their ancestors; some trust in their degrees; sometrust in tanks and talks and predator drones. But we trust in the name of theLord our God. It’s in his name of the Lord Jesus that we live and move and haveour being, and it’s in his name we pray...

- Kevin DeYoung

“Trust in Him at alltimes, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.”

For my country, today, OLord…

Journeying On - A Puritan Prayer

2011-08-29T10:19:00.002-04:00

May we all start off this new week with words such as these ringing in our hearts and envigorating our steps. Happy Monday, friends!

Lord of the cloud and fire,

I am a stranger, with a stranger's indifference;

My hands hold a pilgrim staff, My march is Zionward,

My eyes are toward the coming of the Lord,

My heart is in Thy hands without reserve.

Thou hast created it,

redeemed it,

renewed it,

captured it,

conquered it.

Keep it from every opposing foe,

crush in it every rebel lust,

mortify every treacherous passion,

annihilate every earthborn desire.

All faculties of my being vibrate to Thy touch;

I love Thee with soul, mind, body, strength,

might, spirit, affection, will,

desire, intellect, understanding.

Thou art the very perfection of all perfections;

All intellect derived from Thee;

My scanty rivulets flow from Thy unfathomable fountain.

Compared with Thee, the sun is darkness,

All beauty deformity,

All wisdom folly,

The best goodness faulty.

Thou art worthy of an adoration greater than my dull heart can yield;

Invigorate my love that it may rise worthily to Thee,

tightly entwine itself round Thee,

be allured by Thee.

Then shall my walk be endless praise.

~The Valley of Vision, A Collection of Puritan Prayers

Days Like Today

2011-08-20T18:50:00.003-04:00

It’s days like today that make me realize what I’m made of.

Slightly on the warm side, but if I breathe deeply with just enough imagination, I can grasp just a hint of autumn change. The few brave flowers that have withstood the summer’s heat stand stoic and upright, almost oblivious that their brilliant colors stand only in competition with the occasional sun beam that peaks through the overcast sky.

Days like today, when life seems to pause – almost trembling - as if the slight breeze that shakes an occasional leaf brings the whisper that fall is coming. Hard to imagine that this scene of summer couldn’t just go on forever and ever. Hard to imagine that life will follow the inevitable.

Days like today, when the fresh memory of wrinkled hands grasping my own still linger. When I see the pained look in the sharp blue eyes, knowing that fall has come, and that change is a hard season when you’re just looking forward to the glorious bliss of the hereafter. When the life-long friends, with faltering steps and silvery white hair, laugh together at the memories gone by – each with an empty chair beside them.

Was it hard for them to imagine too?

Days like today, when the restless side gives way to reflection. The hopes that have been disappointed even in the youth of life. The wrestling with the darkness of soul and the sky-searching for the light of truth. The painful uprooting of lingering sin that cannot be ignored any longer. The youthful vigor and excitement of life take a meaningful pause, when I remember what still must die inside.

The radio croons out the old lyrics of “Young at Heart.” The web ad flashes “Forever 21.” The old man waiting for the elevator makes a wistful comment about the years gone by.

I look in the mirror and almost ache for this little heart – with all its vain passions and deceits – to be old. In fact, to remember that it is already dead. The battle that was won for my heart years ago still needs to be reminded of victory. To give up on its frivolous pursuits and realize what is really important.

I want to stop just thinking about summer and breathe in the smells of autumn. I want to visit the cemetery of my soul often, just so I can read the tombstones and remember from where I came from.

Then, I want to go out and dance in the sunshine of my Savior’s grace. Oh, such grace! Fill my lungs with the pure and sweet summer air of His everlasting peace for the rest of this life.

And sing my heart out.

A heart that has died and been resurrected anew. A heart that pumps to the rhythm of an eternal song.

Yes, days like today are good for my soul

to know what it means to really live.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

||Gal. 2:20

Let Freedom Ring!

2011-07-04T13:56:00.003-04:00

Freedom.

It was on the mind of the fathers who founded this country on “reliance of divine Providence” and pledged their “lives, fortunes, and sacred honor” for the cause of free and independent states. It was the whispered word of every slave who broke free from their iron shackles and followed the North Star. It is the rallying cry for every soldier who wears the flag as they fight to end terror for the love of God and country.

Today, on this 4^th of July, my fellow Americans and I are welling up with patriotism and thanking God for freedom. Even as broken and needy as she is, we still enjoy liberty and privileges as citizens of the United States that are unparalleled by anywhere else in the world.

Today, my heart is also thinking about what it means to be REALLY free… in a way so much deeper than political or national sentiments.

This past year, I’ve seen dear loved ones taken home from this earth and from their battles with cancer to live with Jesus. I’ve seen new countries go through birth pangs, and thought of the dear friends left there who have the light of Jesus Christ in their eyes. I’ve seen struggles with sin that have been overwhelming and victories through Jesus that have been glorious. I’ve come to grips with some of the deepest places of my own heart and am learning to cling more closely to the light of the gospel.

So, today, I’m thanking Jesus even more so for this kind of freedom, and echoing the following words from the depths of my own heart:

Indeed, to be set free by you, Jesus, is to be really free (John 8:36). We praise you for freedom from the demands of the law and the paralyzing guilt of our sin, for you took our place on the cross, exhausting the judgment we deserve. We praise you for freedom over the insidious power of sin, for you’ve broken its dehumanizing dominion in our lives. We praise you for freedom from the ever-present fear of death, for you domesticated its sting and pillaged the grave of its victory.

We praise you for freedom to obey God from our hearts, no longer out of pride, pragmatics, or pretense. We praise you for the freedom to come boldly to the throne of grace—into the eternal Holy of Holies, for you’ve secured this “new and living way” for us. We praise you for the freedom of repentance, for you’ve borne our shame and we don’t have to pretend or pose anymore. We praise you for the freedom to take gospel-risks, instead of rusting away the rest of our lives in self-protection and self-indulgence. For life is no longer about our performance, but your praise; not about our security, but your glory; not about saving face, but saving grace.

Jesus, by the power of the gospel, we’ll seek to stand firm in these and many more freedoms you’ve won for us. And in those moments (regretfully, sometimes longer) when we’re seduced back under the joy-robbing yoke of legalism or other demeaning slaveries, restore us quickly to gospel-sanity. Hallelujah, what a Savior you are! Hallelujah, what a salvation you freely give us! So very Amen we pray, your liberating and loving name.

- "A Prayer for Standing Firm in Gospel Freedom" by Pastor Scotty Smith

Let true freedom ring in the hearts of every blood-bought child of the living God and in every corner of His Kingdom throughout this world.

The Sermon to Yourself

2011-03-28T16:04:00.004-04:00

The main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself.

You have to take yourself in hand, you have to

address yourself,

preach to yourself,

question yourself.

You must say to your soul:

'Why art thou cast down' -- what business have you to be disquieted?'

You must turn on yourself,

upbraid yourself,

condemn yourself,

exhort yourself,

and say to yourself:

HOPE THOU IN GOD

-- instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way.

And then, you must go on and remind yourself of God,

Who God is,

and what God is,

and what God has done,

and what God has pledged Himself to do.

Then, having done that, end on this great note: defy yourself.

and defy other people

and defy the devil and the whole world,

and say with this man

'I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance, who is also the health of my countenance and my God.'"

- Dr. Martyn Lloyd Jones, Spiritual Depression

[Sudan] The Language of Missions

2011-02-18T23:42:00.010-05:00

[Author's note: If I can just be permitted to dust off this little corner of the web for a few moments, I thought I would share a few more thoughts in the same vein as the ones previously posted. In light of the recent Sudan referendum and birth of a new country, I thought it to be appropriate. Hopefully, my writing hiatus won't last much longer and I'll be back to posting regularly once again. Thanks for your patience!]

The sunlight streams through the edges of the grass mat roof, spotlighting dark faces with patches of light. Dozens are crammed on hard log branch bences for the morning church service.

It is Sunday morning, and there are at least two faces in the crowd that certainly do not blend in. Laurie Filson and I have tagged along with long-time missionary Vince Ward to visit Lo Mading, one of the mission churches growing rapidly in Southern Sudan. After many weeks of experiencing life with the Cush4Christ team under the African sun, we both approach this final Lord's Day with eagerness and a twinge of sadness. I look around, trying to etch every single face into my memory - looking back into the dark eyes that followed my every move.

What was about to take place in front of me, thousands of miles away from the familiar and ordinary, would be the stage for God to show me just how close Home really is.

A wiry young fellow, barely in his teens, is leading the singing. He is clothed in slightly baggy, mismatched clothes and he is barefoot, but these things are hardly noticeable after seeing his face. Sweat glistens on his dark features. His eyes are closed as he sings his heart ourt. His entire body is enveloped into the singing, as if the words escaping his lips were running through his veins. Thin arms pump the air victoriously and his feet kick up tufts of dirt as he makes his way up and down the makeshift aisle.

Pure, unaffected joy.

Worship in an entirely different language that speaks louder than words ever could.

Another young man, Ajou, only recently passed by Presbytery to be licensed to preach, stands in front of the fledgling congregation. I can see the joy in his eyes, the excitement erupting all over his dark face. I can hear the edge in his voice betraying the zeal of his soul. The words that issued from his lips were still a mystery to my untrained ears, but as a preacher to his own, these words aren't dead. They are filling the four corners of the grass-mat enclosure, bounding into the listening ears of the people crowded together.

Twenty-five believers are lining up for baptism now. The water droplets run down their faces - some young and smooth, others wrinkled and scarred - as they, one-by-one, identify themselves boldly with Jesus Christ and a new life.

It is a celebration.

You can feel it in the air. The voices echo all around me and I can hear their praises erupting to God in their own language. I don't understand a word of it, by the joyful tears that are welling up in my eyes match the glistening droplets that still linger in their dark hair.

Then, in the midst of all the Dinka language, I hear something that I do understand ... a few English words!

I look over, and for a moment, our missionary friend is praying a blessing for the people. It is a very small thing, just a short prayer to add to what the baptizing pastor has already prayed for the new believers. But in that moment, hearing my own language resonates deeply in my heart. I didn't even realize how much I had missed it.

It was as if someone had turned a spotlight on to that beautiful scene, allowing the colors to glisten in a way veiled before. Hearing the echoes of my own heart being put into words revealed how much I had been missing by not being able to comprehend the language of those around me.

If I thought I understood, I did even more so now.

A few days later, we embarked a small white plane to begin our trek back to America, carrying months of memories with us. The crowning pinnacle of our reflections, as we watched the ground disappear below, turned heavenward and we considered the Kingdom work that God is doing through the labors of the dear missionary friends that we leave behind.

That church service scene, like so many others before it , bore the obvious signs of His redeeming work - clear indications of the gospel captivating hearts and transforming lives. We see these things in missions, though imperfect, and it causes us to rejoice in it, wait for it, work for it, long for its completion. God "has put eternity into man's heart" (Ecc. 3:11) and those eternal souls are finding Biblical language in whcih to praise Him!

Sometimes it isn't easy. We don't "blend in" and certainly don't always understand the meaning of these little tastes of eternity. As C.S. Lewis has aptly said, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." One day, all things will be made known, every knee shall bow, the goal of missions will be finished, and we will worship together with one voice before our Savior.

...

Yes, I'm on my way home.

...

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known." - 1 Corinthians 13:12

[Sudan] Welding Lessons

2010-12-07T19:35:00.010-05:00

The old adage says that you learn something new every day. Spend a day in a third-world foreign country and you're guaranteed to quadruple your chances of doing something you've never done before.

I came to Sudan with a construction resume that accurately depicted my level of expertise: I could name a few tools in the box and had pounded a few nails. However, the combination of necessity and an excellent teacher (Julie Ward) breeds opportunity, and thus I found myself behind the Darth Vader-isque mask with a welding rod in my hands.

Welding is one of those trades that carries remarkable intrigue, especially to someone like me that knows little of the complexities of electricity or coalescence. It requires a steady hand, a little bit of know-how (which didn't come from me, obviously), and a few safety measures here and there. Many weeks and a dozen metal shutters later, I reemerged from behind the mask with a new respect for the craft (and the people who can make it look so easy) and a few sparks of thought that were starting to mold something permanent in my head.

Back at our little hut one afternoon, I picked up my small travel Bible and a few verses caught my eye.

"...so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith - that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:17-19)

That simple phrase "rooted and grounded in love" stood out to me like the bright light that I had seen behind the welding mask.

In welding terms, a "ground clamp" is attached to the work to complete the current and allow the electricity to pass through the metal being welded. Without it being properly attached to the pieces, the welder runs the risk of electrical shock.

To be "grounded in love" therefore presented a challenging mental picture, bearing a 1 Corinthians 13 kind of resemblance. I may be able to speak and communicate with brilliant eloquence, but the words mean nothing unless they are spoken in love. I may have the faith that can obliterate obstacles, but without love, there is no point. I may live in Africa (or anywhere else in the world) and give all that I have, but there is no true gain without love. It is love that gives sense and bearing to work; it prevents burnout or injury from energetic efforts without any foundation. To be completely "filled with the fullness of God," I have to know this Love and be firmly grounded in it.

What wondrous love is this?

"God saw Abraham's sacrifice and said, 'Now I know that you love me, because you did not withhold your only son from me.' (Genesis 22:12). But how much more can we look at His sacrifice on the Cross and say to God, 'Now, we know that you love us. For you did not withhold Your Son, Your only Son, whom You love, from us.' When the magnitude of what He did dawns on us, it makes it possible finally to rest our hearts in Him rather than in anything else." - Tim Keller, Counterfeit Gods

In the light of the gospel of this glorious sacrifice, the foundation and "grounding", everything else is "electrified" and made useful in His sight. Why are these families here in Sudan, giving up successful careers and comforts, for the sake of their Dinka neighbors? Why are there tireless efforts put into training men, building churches, raising children, running households? Why is there hope in the midst of discouragements, perseverance in trials, joy in hardships?

Behind that welding mask, watching the sparks fly, I caught a glimpse of it.

It's all because of Love.

"In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, that we might live through Him." - 1 John 4:9

[Sudan] Planes & Promises

2010-12-01T13:19:00.014-05:00

If someone had told me a few months ago that I would be writing this from a small white plane flying over barren African plains, I don't think I would have believed them. But now, I'm looking out of small windows at the brush and sparse greenery below, with an occasional dirt road snaking into the distance. Occasionally, a small cluster of thatched roofs appear, but that is the only sign of civilization below. In an hour or so, my feet will be touching the ground and the adventure will begin.

What does faith look like?

That's a question that coursed through my brain as I sat in the airplane seat. A few hours ago, I had boarded the plane without a second thought. I had buckled myself in for the ride, grinned at 6-year-old Samuel sitting next to me, and soared into the sky headed for Southern Sudan. The two international flights that had brought me to the other side of the globe a few days earlier were much the same. I didn't think about the pilot who literally held lives at his control. I didn't give a second thought to the plastic and metal being the only things that protected me from the elements. I didn't even reconsider the laws of science that held the plane thousands and thousands of feet in the air.

In our culture, flying is just how we get from one place to the next.The "radical faith" that takes is widely accepted and hardly questioned.

Can I live with that kind of faith, in the spiritual sense ... on the ground?

Thankfully, I didn't have to look too far into my past to see that the Pilot had already been faithful to navigate through some storms. Recounting the events of the previous few months left me with no other choice than to look confidently into the future.

It had been exactly eight weeks since the day an email appeared in my inbox, asking if Laurie and I would consider going to Sudan. At the time, we were both shocked that God would answer our months of praying in that way. Our small faith was about to be tested in every possible sense.

Me? In Africa? What about my responsibilities here? What about the money? What will people think of such a quick decision? Am I doing the right thing? What if I don't come back? ...

Each question that surfaced demanded a miracle in its own way. God was answering prayers, but He was doing it in such a way that stripped us of every ounce of ourselves and caused complete surrender. A.W. Tozer once said, "If something is of God, then your dependence on God will increase." That became our heralding cry for needed grace. If God was going to have us on a plane in a few short weeks, it would be nothing short of a miracle.

Faith. Can you do this, oh my soul? Has He ever failed you yet?

From my reflections on that little white plane, I began to see the shadows of three pillars that gave my shaky faith the wings to fly.

Peace. When God calls His children to things much bigger than themselves, He knows our weakness and inadequacies -- which is why I believe He fulfills His own words to give backbone to the task ahead: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you...let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." (John 14:27). After praying intensely about the decision, Laurie and I found that God had given an deep-rooted and inexplainable peace, even against all odds.

Providence. How else can you explain the acts of God, when you have no other alternative -- no "plan B"? How do you account for details falling into place, jobs being covered, money being provided, and needs being fulfilled? It is, as the Westminster Catechism puts it, God's works of providence: "His most holy, wise, and powerful, preserving and governing all His creatures and all their actions." When God has His fingerprints all over something, even preparing me months and years in advance, it's hard to look the other way.

Promises. Faith is not easy for us nearsighted, fallible, insecure creatures, which is why God gives us firm foundations to rest our weary feet. He then gives us times such as these to prove that that every word of His is actually true. For my little faith, stepping forward into to this desire of my heart meant that His promises would have to be more than just letters on a page. Thankfully, but not surprisingly, every single promise is always kept. Always.

With those three pillars holding us up, we turned our faces towards the wind and our Pilot put us... on... that... plane.

Weeks later, as I sat waiting to disembark and feel the hot African sun on my face, I returned to that question of faith.

What is this going to look like for the rest of my life? Can I take my faith so seriously that flying clear around the world will seem like nothing in comparison? Can I trust that God, my Pilot, will keep me above the clouds, above the terrifying depths below? Can I have the kind of confidence that when He does "land the plane," He will not leave me to wonder where to go from here?

A few hours later, not only was I on the ground, but I was standing in front of the little round hut that was going to be "home" for the next few months. As I looked upward, I saw a rainbow that stretched delicately across the blue expanse, as a welcome banner from my Lord.

There was no doubting.

No turning back.

A radical life of faith, with Jesus as the author and the finisher, is the only life worth living.

The Return

2010-11-15T16:20:00.004-05:00

Dear friends,

After a summer hiatus[and then some], I’m now dusting off this blog once again. If you were following the updates over at 73 Days, you will have heard a few tales of the African adventures from this past summer. Hopefully, those words (written from our little thatched-roof hut) gave you a tiny glimpse into what turned out to be an incredible God-breathed, grace-saturated, ripple-making, faith-building, joy-filled adventure.

We (my dear friend Laurie and me) touched American soil again on September 8, 2010. The pictures have been sorted through, a few videos done, and reports have been made, and life has swept us away in a fascinating flurry back on our homeland mission field.

However, my writing pen has been largely silent.

There’s been a reason for that. Well, more than one. :-)

It’s impossible to go on a trip like that and not have it change you. Sometimes that change isn’t realized right away; sometimes it just takes awhile for it to surface into [words that can be shared.] Now, over two months later (has it been that long?!)…… the words are finally coming.

SO, here’s to ‘remembering the deeds of the Lord.

Remembering His wonders of old.

Pondering all of His work.

Meditating on His mighty deeds.’

In the next few weeks, by God’s grace, I’m going to attempt to share a few stories with you. Some of them are from my journal. Others are from the updates that you might have already read. A few are the result of living back at home and seeing things there with new eyes.

I’m just gonna say – God has this way of writing stories that always leave me speechless. However they might come out, it is my hope that you’ll see God Himself in a way that you’ve never seen before. He deserves far more glory than can ever be expressed here.

“What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; You have made known your might among the peoples.” (Psalm 77:11-14)

So, here’s to celebrating that.

Beth

P.S. With a new season comes a new blog look! Web design is not my forte, but I've been playing around here to make it a little more navigatable... so pardon the "dust." :) Any suggestions, comments, or helpful hints would be appreciated.

[Sudan] Adventure with Jesus

2010-09-02T06:22:00.000-04:00

“Make sure you have good walking shoes!”

A good piece of advice for any traveler, yes. Just a few months ago, I was hurriedly throwing a few things into a suitcase in order to catch a plane that was Africa-bound. In went the old familiar brown sandals. The ones that had climbed mountains in India, ran beaches in Mexico, and now would soon be shaking Sudanese dust off of their worn soles.

Now, over two months later, I looked down at those old brown sandals as I walked to some surrounding neighbors to say some final goodbyes. The packed dirt below had bare footprints (along with a random smattering of cow, goat, donkey, and chicken prints) etched into the soil of those who had walked the path before me. The pathway kept going – winding in between compounds and disappearing into fields that were tall with sorghum ready for harvest. Part of me wanted to keep going – to look beyond the next bend in the path, to find more faces, to see new things. The other part of me knew that the sun would be setting soon and it was time to turn back.

Now, I’m turning back … going home.

But the journey doesn’t stop.

Because with every day that passes here in Sudan, the more I realize just how much of this life is truly an adventure with my Jesus. Every step of the way.

Next Wednesday, a certain plane will land in Indianapolis. Lord willing, both Laurie and I will be setting foot into a new chapter and a new adventure back in our homeland.

I just wanted to send you all a heartfelt “thank you” for being faithful prayer warriors during this African leg of the great adventure. It has been so full and so rich with His abundant care and grace. Our time here has drawn to a close, but we go willingly on to the next – knowing that following Him means truly living the abundant life.

The last week with the Cush4Christ team here has been mixed with joy in all that God has done, along with some sadness at the thought of parting. Things like screwing the final screw into the completed shutters at the Ward’s house or topping off our project blitz by the construction of a new latrine (“cho”) this week has given a sense of finality and completion to this trip. Many things still continue, however, and will the time to come within our own hearts. God has blessed us with so many relationships and friendships here that it is difficult to say goodbye. They ask us when we will return, and we can only say “The Lord knows” (and then we think a little less of earth and a little more of heaven.)

A few final prayer requests as we embark on our journey home:

- For safety and protection in travel: Jan, Laurie, and I leave on Friday morning from Aweil, spend the night in Juba, and do the second half of our flight to Nairobi on Saturday. Our flight to America begins on the following Tuesday (September 7).

- For the C4C team: especially the Wards as they remain behind in Sudan and continue on the work here so faithfully. Also, pray for Scott (returning next week) and the Faris family (still, as far as we know, are awaiting the arrival of baby in Nairobi). Being able to live and work alongside these servants for the past few months has been such an encouragement to us – God is in the process of doing great things through the people that He delights in calling His own.

- For our own hearts: as we say goodbye to people we love so dearly and transition back to life in America. Pray for good times of reflection and joy as we remember what God has done and look forward to what He will do in the next chapter of our individual lives.

The words from Psalm 117 (the psalm that we love to sing quite frequently with the Ward family here!) come ringing back into my ears as we say goodbye and look forward to home.

Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!

All you nations, extol Him; Extol Him, all you peoples!

For great is His love toward us,

and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever!”

His love truly is great toward us – we have seen it in countless ways. His faithfulness has guided us every step of the way and will continue wherever else He may take us on the face of His earth… until we are finally Home.

It is exciting – this life, with Jesus holding on to us!! I’m sure each of you have your own stories of how God is leading you even now. So, from one traveler to another, on this journey with Christ -- make sure you have good walking shoes … because the abundant life with Jesus is always an adventure.

Praising the Lord with you,

Beth

[Sudan] Life in Sudan

2010-08-20T13:26:00.000-04:00

Dear Friends,

The sun has now set on Day 50 here in the Sudan. Right now, Laurie is lighting our little kerosene stove to brew herself a cup of chai and I am listening to our resident cricket sing his little heart out somewhere in the thatched roof above my head. Life here has been an incredible grace-saturated adventure.

I’ve shared a few of the spiritual lessons in some previous emails, but tonight I thought I would just invite you to our little “baai” for a peek into life as we know it here in Sudan.

The C4C compound has become more empty lately, as we waved goodbye to our dear friends Daniel, Natalie, and little Samuel – who are off to Nairobi for the birth of the baby. We’ve missed them here - and Georgie (the dog) does too, but he’s consoling himself by curling up by one of our beds at night. We have been keeping quite busy along with the Ward family and Jan, as we approach our final few weeks.

This week has launched us into fast-forward motion with the various projects to be completed here. One thing I’ve learned about being here in Sudan is that nobody here has just “one” job – and our experience here is giving us a myriad of things to increase our resumes. *smile* The Minion Department (as we are affectionately called) has taken on many different roles: babysitter, dishwasher, chef, farmer, welder, grinder, plumber, tea connoisseur (Laurie), pole digger, photographer, general source of Kowaja amusement… and the list goes on. It has been quite enjoyable, and we go to sleep every night thanking the Lord for the opportunity to use our hands in service here.

Just for fun, I thought you all might enjoy an ongoing list that is being compiled by a few of us (something akin to “you know you live in Sudan when…”) – taking note of the somewhat unusual things that this land offers. Who knows, maybe some of you will end up in Africa someday too and this knowledge might come in handy.

- A common dish served at a local restaurant is cow intestines- Praying for rain at the dinnertable is a common occurrence- The currency is a Sudanese pound and there are no coins- Recreational activities include spear throwing and chasing goats out of groundnut fields- Kids have little attachment to clothes and even less for “indoor” toilets- Chickens, goats, and cows are often the welcoming committee on your doorstep (not as much anymore since Daniel constructed the fence though!)- Digging a new “cho” (outdoor toilet) has many benefits, including a full body toning routine (my muscles are singing volumes right now!), golden sun tanning, and clay mud pedicures.- Waking up in the morning to an energetic scurry of little feet overhead is no cause for alarm – it is just the lizards having a “good morning” dance on your mosquito netting.- Waking up at night to the energetic scurry of little feet, however, often means that the resident mouse is having a midnight snack on your granola bars.- Cameras make instant friends, even if they don’t know to smile until AFTER the picture.- Land rovers + mud x full night of rain = flexibilityyyy in the schedule! (Or flexibility in footwear when the next day’s jaunt to the market left Jan stuck in the clay!)- Every night, there is either a gorgeous sunset, a sky full of stars, or a majestic lightening display that you can watch while taking a shower – can’t get much better than that!- Two boards nailed together make a perfect plane swing, an empty plastic bottle hanging from a string is great for “tetherball”, and countless hours can be spent digging holes in the sand and climbing trees. No need for televisions here!- Onions and garlic are the staple ingredient for just about any recipe.- Taking your dirt-christened work skirt out of the laundry for the third time in a week is perfectly fine – it’s just fitting in with the latest fashions!- Your “tan” often comes off in the shower every night.- … and much, much, much more!

We are continuing to live every day here to the fullest and are looking forward to our final two weeks here. Thank you for all of your faithful prayers over the past few months – it has certainly been God who had made this trip so profitable. Lord willing, we will have a few more things to share with you all before we return. Please continue to pray for the Kingdom work – that God would “establish the work of our hands” (Psalm 90) as we finish up here.

[reposted from 73 Days of Rain]

[Sudan] Shining

2010-08-09T13:16:00.000-04:00

Hello from Sudan once again!
As I sit down to write to you all, I still wonder if I will ever be able to adequately express all the work that God is doing here in Africa. Yesterday, as I was sitting under the shade of a nice tree, God was reminding me of so many of His commands in Scripture to declare the wonderful works of the Lord. “I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples, I will sing praises to you among the nations…” (Psalm 108:3) So, even though my words are rather inadequate and time is lacking to tell you of everything, it is my hope that you are reading these emails and finding your heart drawn to praising His Name with us.

This afternoon, I’ve been thinking about light and how important it is in our daily life here. The sunshine that is so well-known here in Africa becomes a welcome sight, as it is often our “alarm clock” to wake us up in the mornings. At night, that same sunshine becomes appreciated in a new way when we use our solar-powered lanterns. The stars that you can see from here are absolutely breathtaking – sometimes it is almost light enough to see the path without extra help. Flashlights do come in handy to keep our eye out for snakes when we walk back from the shower, however. *smile* And yes, Laurie and I have been known to read our emails by candlelight as well.

You probably know where I’m going with this. All of these various forms of light that shine brilliantly into the darkness are visible pictures of what God commands His children to be: “that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world," [Philippians 2:15]

I just thought I would share one example (out of many) of this spiritual light and darkness that may give you a better idea of ways to pray as we continue on this mission here in Sudan.

On Friday, as Daniel Faris, Laurie, and I were getting ready to leave for Aweil Town (to pick up Jan, a new team member for the month), there was a great commotion outside the gate. A woman had been attacked by a stray dog and was having violent reactions. Daniel was able to drive her to Aweil town for medical attention, and Laurie and I rode along and prayed. [It was uncertain if it was the result of demon possession.] This was the first time that I have witnessed something like that so closely, and it has caused us to think much upon Jesus, His victory over the powers of darkness, and the impact that the gospel could have in this land. Please pray for Adoot and her family, as well as the many, many people in this area who are still bound by the chains of fear and have not yet experienced the freedom that is found in Jesus Christ.

In contrast, this past Lord’s Day, we had the privilege of worshipping with the saints in Mangar-Aquach, which is the village of the first organized church in this area. Every time I visit that area, I am amazed at the joy and sincerity that radiate from their faces. This week, we had the privilege of witnessing two important milestones in the church: the ordination of five deacons, and partaking of the Lord’s Supper with them. Both of these events, along with the preaching of the Word, singing, and praying, was a beautiful picture of how God is continuing to grow and build His church.

"And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky above; and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever." [Daniel 12:3]

So yes, there is darkness, but there is also a glorious light – and how great is that Light! I marvel at the ways God is continuing to shine His gospel even more brilliantly into our own hearts as we witness it going out into this community. He truly is worthy of our praise.

Her smile just lights up the world!

As some of you have requested, here are a few more specific prayer requests as we start off this new week:

This Friday, we say goodbye to Daniel, Natalie, and little Samuel as they fly to Nairobi for the birth of their little one. We will greatly miss their presence here in Sudan, but look forward to hopefully seeing them in Nairobi in a few more weeks when we pass through. Please pray for their safety in travel and the birth of baby in God’s appointed time!

We are also grateful for Jan, who has come for a month. We have enjoyed getting to know her! Please continue to pray for her as she adjusts to life here and discerns God’s calling on her life.

On Tuesday (tomorrow), Jan, Laurie, and I are going to do an impromptu workshop/discussion with the women of Manach-Aquach, talking about womanhood and discipleship. Please pray that God would give us the words to say and that we would communicate effectively to a culture and a mindset that is so different from our own. Pray that relationships would be established and that long-lasting fruit would be seen.

Please pray that we would continue to treasure the moments here and use our time wisely as we anticipate the next few weeks ahead.

Thank you for your faithful prayers and support. We praise God for each and every one of you!

Love,
Beth

[reposted from 73 Days of Rain]

[Sudan] Building

2010-07-30T15:15:00.000-04:00

Hello dear friends,

As I write to you, a golden sunset is just disappearing across the western sky. Nearby, cows are bellowing in low tones, and the sounds of the night are starting up their calming chorus. My hands and face are bearing tell-tale signs of plenty of African sunshine, and I’m breathing a sigh of contentment after a full day here in Sudan.

The calendar says that we are well into our fourth week here. I was writing a date in my journal the other day and stared at it for a few moments – it’s hard to believe that it’s the end of July and exactly a month since we left the States! At the team meeting last night, Laurie and I were remarking at how “normal” it feels here – which is a testimony of God’s continuing grace and many prayers on our behalf. We are so grateful.

As I was thinking about what I could write to you this week, the theme that has come to mind several times is BUILDING.

Perhaps it is on my mind because we built a house today.

Well, more accurately, we *helped* Daniel Faris and Lual (the day guard) screw together the sheet metal for a tin house on the compound – in preparation for some upcoming guests in the next few weeks and months. The walls are now standing tall and the roof awaits its completion tomorrow! But still, for someone who hasn’t had too much experience in the construction department, even passing screws and wielding wrenches gave me a sense of achievement.

Now, a nice round dwelling stands glistening in the evening sun, and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the different kinds of building that I’ve witnessed going on this week. A few afternoons have been dedicated towards various “home improvement” projects – like tying grass mats (jargonia) to the newly constructed fence, cementing posts in the ground for Julie’s laundry line, or helping with the construction of new house shutters for the Wards. It has been quite fun to get “our hands dirty” in some small ways to help with the settling-in process.

However, tin huts and fence posts aren’t the only things that have been building around here lately.

Yesterday, Daniel took us over to a nearby village to witness some deacon training in one of the churches. We’ve been hearing about the discipleship work that Vince has been doing with the pastors. Also, earlier this week found us listening to one of our newfound friends, Achol, read from her Dinka Bible and discussing spiritual things with her. Being able to see some of these things firsthand has reminded me that God is continuing to build in the hearts and lives of people here in His own ways and time. What a blessing it is to see His Kingdom continue to expand in this vastly different corner of His globe!

As Laurie and I can both attest, God is also continuing to do a building work deep within our own hearts. We can wait on Him, joyfully confident that He is faithful to complete His work.

In His Strength,
Beth

[reposted from 73 Days of Rain]

[Sudan] Living Water

2010-07-23T11:39:00.000-04:00

The warm evening sun beckoned me out for a brief walk before dinner. In the distance, I could hear the buzz of voices coming from the community well. The small crowd of women looked up as I approached, and curious dark eyes matched my own. I was interested to see more of this daily chore of Dinka life, and they were equally as interested in the strange white girl who found such fascination in an ordinary thing.

I watched for awhile as the women took turns filling their yellow gerry cans with the clear water. Young girls were systematically pumping the long metal handle, using their weight as leverage and jumping up and down along with the motion. One lady laughed and motioned for me to try. I could feel the tension of the water as I pumped, and my inexperienced hands only brought out a rather haphazard trickle from the tap (much to the amusement of my audience.) When the 20 liter cans were topped with water, the women would lift them onto their heads in one swift motion and balance them effortlessly. As I waved goodbye to the newfound friends at the well and continued on my walk, I thought more about this necessity of fresh water that helped the community to thrive. Even more than that, I was reminded of the work of the gospel here that quenches the thirst of the soul.

LIVING WATER.

It has been such a blessing to see how the team here has dedicated themselves to this gospel. I have learned so much from them so far, from both watching their daily lives and also hearing the stories of how God has built up this ministry in Sudan. Although we have only been here two weeks, we have been privileged to take part in some small ways – especially seeing the fruit of the team’s long-term labors in our own short-term endeavors. We had the opportunity to do some English work with two pastors-in-training here on a weekly/bi-weekly basis. We spent an afternoon with Peter and Ajo on Monday, helping them with sermon preparations and discussing several Bible passages to answer their questions. It was tremendously encouraging to talk in our own native language and be part (in a very small way) of the gospel going forth in the surrounding churches. To me, that was a celebration of the Lord’s work thorough the faithful service of the mentors who have invested in these men’s lives for such a long time.

Yesterday (Thursday), we were also privileged to be part of the “Grand Opening” ceremony for Weer Bei, the radio station that transmits a gospel message to thousands of listeners in this area. Cush4Christ has partnered with this ministry since the very beginning, and the majority of it is made possible through the work of Scott, Vince, John (pastor) and Carlo (pastor). Although they have been on the air for several months already, the “official” ceremony took place - complete with dedication speeches, singing, preaching, and a “ribbon” cutting. Quite a day! It was likewise a great celebration of God’s work through the faithful service of these men who have been dedicated to the gospel message.

These two events this week reminded me of the beauty and refreshment of Living Water upon the souls of people. It has also reminded me to be dwelling on this gospel and its glorious meaning for my own life.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support as we settled into a varied schedule here. Every day has seemed to provide us with new experiences, new faces, new encounters, and new grace, while still allowing us to be part of the daily routine of the team. I have learned so much about missionary life and greatly look forward to what God has in store for the next six weeks.

Wherever you are, it is my prayer that you will stay encouraged and treasure this glorious gospel in your daily life as well. It is truly worth everything.

“Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” – John 4:13-14

Rejoicing in Sudan,
Beth

[reposted from 73 Days of Rain]

[Sudan] Walking in Grace

2010-07-14T11:33:00.000-04:00

The thunder rumbled in the distance. Eagerly, all of us looked up from where we were gathered for prayer, as the wind suddenly picked up and whistled around the house. The strong, envigorating winds blew dust in swirling hordes as the dark clouds promised something more.

Rain!

The kids squealed in excitement as the first droplets came. As we danced around in the rain, feeling the wet spray on our faces, I could almost feel the invigorating refreshment that it was bringing to this thirsty land. Laurie and I have ended our first entire week here in the Sudan, and I just have to smile at how God sent this little rainstorm as a celebration of His continuing grace. A few minutes ago, as I made my way through the little winding dirt paths to our little bai (and shooing away the cows and goats off the front doorstep), I began to think about all the ways that God has shown us His grace this past week, and they are really too numerous to count.

One common theme that I’ve been noticing is that God tends to show me particular things about Himself as I move forward – walking one step at a time. So, here are a few places that I’ve walked this week and some glimpses of Himself that He has shown along the way.

I saw His gift of life this week as we walked around the village in prayer on Friday, and stopped in to visit a newborn baby who had been born a few hours before. The precious dark tiny face looking up at his mother reminded me in a particular way of how God sustains life here and holds all of His children securely within His hand. This is grace.

I saw His gift of community this week as we walked into neighbor huts with some of the team members and greeted people with our broken Dinka. After only a week of being here, we confess that our conversational language still relies heavily on patient translators and hand motions, but we have greatly enjoyed being a source of amusement as we learn from one another. As faces become more familiar, names stick a little easier, and the “light bulbs” of understanding turn on a little quicker, we see God drawing people and forming relationships. This is grace.

I saw His gift of the gospel as we walked out of the Weer Bei radio station, after seeing the first Saturday night radio program hit the air. This Christian radio station, which is connected with the Cush4Christ ministry here, reaches a 60-mile radius in all directions and has approximately 20,000 listeners. I am so encouraged by the dedication of the men here who organize the programs, and even more thrilled to see God working in such a powerful way to bring His message to this oral culture. This too, is grace.

I saw His gift of worship as we walked to God’s house here in Sudan – a grass mat enclosure with branches for pews and a tarp for the roof – and listened to the voices of these saints raised in psalms of prayer. Although I only understood a word or two, it was a beautiful sight to see these people here worshipping the true God from their heart. It reminded me of the people back home who were doing the same thing around the globe on the Lord’s Day. This is grace.

And yes, I saw His gift of security as we walked throughout our days (and nights even). I just have to say that the necessary walks in the dark are still a little unnerving – even with the trusty flashlight. However, as I was walking back from my shower last night, I just had to smile at the confidence that had come to my step (for me, that is saying kinda a lot – especially with all the sticks on the ground that look like snakes in the dark!) *smile* Praise God for His protection, and yes, even if I do encounter one of those reptiles one of these days, I’m sure there is grace enough for that too.

Finally, tonight, I saw His gift of joy as I walked back in the rain. The adjustments to this culture have been rather easy thus far (mostly thanks to the wonderful team members here who have patiently taught us so much!) but there is still that daily need to choose joy wherever I am. I just love those moments when it just can’t help but bubble up inside and spill over. That is a gracious gift from God as well.

Anyway, I thought a few of these things would make you smile too – and hopefully bring to mind ways that God has shown you grace in your lives today as you walk forward into what He has called you.

Thank you all SO much for your many emails! They are extremely appreciated and we are very grateful for the links of love that connect us to home. I continually thank God for all of you and look forward to responding as the time permits. Know that you all are being thought of and prayed for under this African sky. *smile*

“Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; His going out is as sure as the dawn; He will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains water the earth…” – Hosea 6:3

Love,
Beth

[reposted from 73 Days of Rain]

[Sudan] First Day

2010-07-08T06:15:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone!

We send you love and good wishes from a little round hut in Southern Sudan! The sun has just gone down on our first full day on this missionfield, and I am currently sitting under its thatched roof, listening to the sounds of the evening – some crickets, an occasional drumming, some soft singing in the distance (Daniel and Natalie having family worship), and the typing on this tiny computer (that last one kinda spoils the night atmosphere, but I’m thankful for it nonetheless!) I have just returned from a nice envigorating shower under the stars, and await another peaceful night’s sleep before another busy day!

So much has happened in the last few days that it would be rather difficult to sum it all up in one small update. However, I thought I would share with you a short snippet from my journal – my faithful companion that has kept a few of the many memories.

On the MAF (Mission Aviation Fellowship) airplane, somewhere in between Nairobi and Aweil:

“Right now, as my family and friends back in America are just waking up to start a new day, I am getting ready to set foot on a new missionfield. The small white plane is maneuvering through some fluffy white clouds as we head towards Aweil. Below, I can see a sprinkling of brush and some sparse greenery with an occasional dirt road snaking into the distance. Occasionally, a small cluster of thatched or tin roofs appear, but that is the only sign of civilization below. My heart has been singing words from Psalm 108: God, my heart is steadfast, I will sing your praises…Lord, among the peoples [the Dinka, specifically] I will sing your praises. And from among the nations [right now, it’s Sudan] my praise to You will rise. For your lovingkindness extends is above the heavens, Your faithfulness extends into the skies.” Lord, you have been gracious to give me a steadfast heart, and I am learning to let go and lay my burdens down – and just worship with my whole heart. Your lovingkindness and faithfulness go before me into this new land – it is even up here in the skies! May your glory be lifted above all the earth, Jesus!”

Those words were written just a few moments before God, in His faithfulness, brought us safely to the ground and we stepped out to feel the warm sunshine on our faces. Little adorable black children, with brilliant smiles and curious eyes, cautiously crept towards the plane with murmurs of “Kawaja!” (White person!) on their lips. We were met at the landing strip by Scott (one faithful missionary who is heading off for his furlough) and Daniel, the latter of whom whisked us away to our new “home away from home” – a cheery little hut that has been tastefully decorated by its previous occupant (thanks, Heather!) We have now settled in quite nicely, and the Wards are making fast progress to settle into their new home as well.

There are so many new sights, sounds, voices, and experiences that have stretched and grown our souls and senses in the last 24 hours…. like making friends with a few (more like a dozen) local children, finding a donkey in the church building, writing stories with the kids, expanding our Dinka conversational vocabulary (slooowly, but surely!), good long conversations around the dinner table, seeing the amazing stars that light up the night sky. We’ve also christened our resident mouse in the roof with the name “Remi” and have had only one snake sighting so far (and yes, I am quite thankful about that!) I’m sure more words and adventures will follow from this little hut here at Cush4Christ, but for now, I must close.

Thank you all for your faithful prayers and support from afar. We have been so blessed by your encouragements and have seen God answer your prayers with His daily grace in ways far beyond what we can express.

Secure in His Grip,
Beth (for the both of us!)

[reposted from 73 Days of Rain]

[Sudan] Celebration in Africa

2010-07-05T15:52:00.000-04:00

Greetings from wintry Nairobi! The rooster that cheerily wakes us up every morning seems to be the only one not affected by the chilly air that we’ve experienced while here. The Kenyans have been walking around in scarves, hats, and jackets in this chilling, frigid, 50 degree weather. *smile* In spite of the rather brisk evening outside, however, we still enjoyed ice cream sundaes provided by our gracious hosts (the Morads) in honor of our last evening in Kenya.

This past Lord’s Day, we were reminded of some of the universal truths that transcend the thousands of miles between us and the places we call home as we celebrated a few special things along with the people back home.

Laurie & Amina after the Kenyan worship service

WORSHIP: I have never ceased to be amazed at how beautifully and uniquely people can worship our God from the heart, regardless of the country. Today was no exception as we worshipped at a local Kenyan Presbyterian Church and were warmly welcomed by new brothers and sisters. In the afternoon, while our small team (Laurie, Beth, and the Wards) spent time in prayer and worship, I was thinking about how my family and friends would be heading to their own houses of worship in a few hour--and how beautiful it must be for God to look down and see people from every tribe and nation lifting their voices to Him. What a GLORIOUS thing heaven will be, when we are ALL together in one place, finally able to worship purely and completely!

.

FREEDOM: While many of you back home were enjoying picnics and fireworks for the 4th of July, we were having our own celebration—not just for Independence Day but also for Canada Day (July 1st) that the Wards had not celebrated yet! Samuel and Zakari made country flags, and we celebrated by singing our respective national anthems, enjoying a smorgasbord dinner, and sharing things that we are grateful for in our countries. Despite the good-natured Canadian and American rivalry here (lol), we are truly grateful for the way God has blessed our countries and the freedoms that we have. And we admit that despite our American blood, Laurie and I have caught ourselves saying “eh?” several times already.

Chameleons provided fun entertainment one afternoon!

PRAYER REQUESTS:

Today (Monday) has been a packing day, as we all gear up to fly to the Sudan early tomorrow morning. The kids have been telling us about all the fun things they do back at “home” and we are excited to be joining and learning from them. We are also looking forward to meeting Daniel, Natalie, and little Samuel Faris – the family who is already on the field. As we have anticipated our departure date, we have been spending much time in prayer together, and we are so grateful for you all joining us in lifting this before our Savior’s throne. Please pray that:

Our 8 hr charter flight (with 2 stops included) will go without incident—and that no one will get plane sick!

God will grant us the flexibility, grace, and joy needed for the interesting changes ahead as we adjust to a new culture and ministry

God will continue to grant wisdom and strength to Vince and Julie as they lead the team and settle back into their ministry responsibilities

Good health for each of us daily

Thank you for the encouraging emails and prayers that we have already received. May God continue to bless each of you with His strength and grace for the ministry set before you, knowing that we are all co-laborers in His Kingdom! We love you all and look forward to sharing more of God’s grace with you in the future.

[reposted from 73 Days of Rain]

[Sudan] Happy Independence Day!

2010-07-04T13:01:00.000-04:00

Happy Independence Day (July 4) and Canada Day (July 1) from your friends in Africa!

[reposted from 73 Days of Rain]

[Sudan] Arrival in Nairobi, Kenya!

2010-07-02T10:45:00.000-04:00

We have now set foot on African soil! Thank you all so much for your prayers as we travel to this side of the globe. God has truly been gracious, and we arrived safe and sound – with all of our luggage, and even a few hours of sleep behind us!

Whenever a new adventure begins, the “first impressions” are always ones that stick out in my memory. The first glimpses of this beautiful country came from the airplane window as we descended into Nairobi. After a long all-night flight, one often looks out – eager to see something other than pitch black darkness. At long last, just as we were descending into the clouds, a fine streak of golden sunshine could be seen on the horizon. It was a welcome sight!As the plane gradually dropped, we could see the sparkling lights of the city down below. Alas, the cloudy sky prevented the city from the rays of the glorious morning sun that had been shining above the clouds. As we landed though, the memory of the sunlight caused me to smile. It just reminded me that God is always present, even when it is hard to see. His providential works are behind every circumstance, and we can smile knowing that He sees beyond the clouds – and can see how all things work together for good!

God’s providence has certainly brought a smile to our faces, even in the few hours that we have been in Africa thus far.

PRAISE AND PRAYER: We praise God for giving Laurie the opportunity to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with a college student named, Rilke (“Rilk-ah”) on the plane flight. Please pray that God will the conversation to plant the seeds of hope, peace, and direction that Rilke is longing for. Rilke had lots of searching questions like “who is Jesus Christ” and “what is the Trinity”? She has a genuine desire to believe in God, but her biggest wall is that she sees herself as an anthropologist who views God as a creation of societies of men. Laurie gave Rilke her travel Bible and they were able to exchange contact information in hopes of planting further seeds.

We are now settled into our host home and are enjoying getting to know the Ward family. The children especially have already woven their way into our hearts, with some good romps on the grass, a few rousing “sword-fights”, and lots of hugs! Samuel (6), Zakari (4), and Amina (2) are going to be fun companions. We are so grateful for the way that Vince and Julie have already opened their hearts to us, as well as the Morad family (our host home for our few days here in Kenya) and look forward to working alongside of these saints in the weeks to come.

[reposted from 73 Days of Rain]

New Location

2010-06-30T09:03:00.003-04:00

Hello dear friends,

This is just a note to let you know that posting for the next few months will be done at our Africa blog:

73 Days of Rain

Lord willing, I will return on September 8, 2010 and look forward to catching up on life here once again.

Until then, may the Lord bless you and make His face shine upon you!

Love,

Beth

It's Raining.

2010-06-23T01:21:00.009-04:00

Last night, there was a thunderstorm.

One of those earth-shattering, window-pounding, thunder-rolling, intense kinds. I could feel the vibes from the thunder as I watched the rain come down in torrents from the black night sky. The lightening cut across the sky, giving a brief moment of reality to the shuddering, dark world below. It was intense. It was beautiful.

At 2 a.m., that thunderstorm was a perfect time for reflection. There is nothing quite like reviewing your own life when you have a visible reminder of the Almighty's power ringing in your ears.

The truth is... it's been raining. On the inside too.

Life isn't what I would have imagined it to be five years ago. Or even five months ago. Or even five weeks ago. Nearly everything that I know has been tested in some form. Tested for authenticity. For truth. For lasting hope. Who knew that this life after college would shake my very identity, causing me to run to Jesus with all the questions that can't be found in books? Who knew that working three jobs would show me so much of God's directing hand and rest for a weary heart? Who knew that taking on a new job to help an elderly couple would show me so much of Christ's sacrificial love and would strengthen my perspective of marriage forever? Who knew that having one of my best friends (my brother) move would just multiply the places that I call home? Who knew that linking arms with my girls, cooking food, worshiping with my whole heart would bring the Bride of Christ alive in a whole new way? Who knew that the unanswered prayers and the shattered dreams would produce such hope? Who knew that every tear that I've cried would be kept for something precious? Who knew.... except the Master of the storm?

But even the storms mean something beautiful is happening. This kind of "life" rain means many things.

It means growing. The hand of Abba Father is never quite as visible as it is when the rain comes. All the stretching that comes shows JUST HOW involved Jesus is in that moment. JC Ryle once wrote: "The Christian who is always at a standstill, to all appearance the same man, with the same little faults, and weaknesses, and besetting sins, and petty infirmities, is seldom the Christian who does much good. The man who shakes and stirs minds, and sets the world thinking, is the believer who is continually improving and going forward. Men think there is life and reality when they see growth." It's true. God loves us just the way we are, but He loves us too much to leave us the way we are.

Rain also means grace. Sometimes the flash floods come. The lightening strikes. Rain becomes uncertain and painful. But when I hear the thunder and feel the pounding rain, I'm reminded to look up and run into His presence. I remember who I was and, by the grace of God, what He has made me now because of His glorious gospel (Acts 3:19). Sometimes the mistakes hurt - and the pieces that have to be picked up have lasting consequences. But Jesus steps in and reminds me that He took that guilt and that shame. His love is unconditional and yes, He delights in me. Because of that, the rain is healing. Refreshing.

[I will praise You in this storm, Jesus...]

As I said earlier, life isn't what I thought it would be. I can plan my way, but the hand of Almighty God has the final say. When it comes to the thunderstorms of life, there are always ripple effects... sometimes they are seen, often they are unseen. This is where I need your prayers, your support, and your kindred battle spirit for the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.

Next week, the "rain" will take on a different form -- falling from an African sky.

As some of you have heard, Laurie Filson and I are headed for Sudan next Wednesday for the summer. Although the trip has been planned in fast-forward motion (with only a month and a half to prepare), it is a result of many months of active prayer as God has been preparing our hearts to do more short-term international work. It has required much faith and dependence upon the Lord, knowing that His ways and timing is always perfect... and that He, as Jehovah Jireh, will provide for all of our needs. As the two of us prepare for this new season of growth and grace, I wanted to outline some of the details here for you as all of us continue in this advancement of His Kingdom together.

Our purpose for going is primarily to "lift up the hands" of some fellow laborers within the family of Christ. Cush4Christ is a mission outreach through the Reformed Presbyterian Church. This team has been living and serving in the region since 2006 in an effort to see Christ-exalting churches planted and people come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Due to some recent transitions, the team consists of the Ward Family (Vince, Julie, Samuel -6, Zakari -4, Amina -2) and the Faris Family (Daniel, Natalie, Samuel -2, and baby on the way!). They asked if we could come to help with some domestic life responsibilities, field projects, teaching English, and hopefully throw in a few other experiences along the way. :) If the last year has been any indication, it is a thrilling and a humbling thing that God chooses to allow us to be the "hands and feet" in service to Him - wherever we are on the this globe. I look forward to going, and I look forward to being back at home again.

It will be intense. It will be beautiful. It will be totally and completely a God-thing.

Prayers are craved.

[More information will be coming shortly on how to stay connected while we are gone. For now, feel free to talk to me personally or email me at emagnuson87[at]sbcglobal[dot]net)]

Tonight, the world is at peace. The lumunous moon casts a soft glow as the refreshing smell of a past rain wafts through the darkness. The thunderstorm lingers in my mind, but there is nothing but stillness and quietness. Following the Master of the storm, wherever He leads, brings ultimate peace.

It is time to be still and know that He is God.

Hero's Day

2010-06-21T14:08:00.000-04:00

[...I loved him first, he held me first

And a place in my heart will always be his.

From the first breath I breathed,

When he first laid eyes on me,

I knew the love of a father runs deep...]

Thanks for loving me, Dad.

You are my real-life hero.

Life Update from Psalm 139

2010-05-30T00:20:00.004-04:00

God has been working in some pretty incredible ways lately. To give you a peek into what His hand has been doing in this heart of mine, I thought I would share something that became a lifeline a few weeks ago. These God-breathed words of Psalm 139 have defined my life lately. I'm also including my own jotted notes to give you a glimpse into how He has been using His Words to write another chapter in my life. As you read them, you might discover that He’s been writing a similar story in your life as well.

Oh Lord, you have searched me, down into my very heartbeat

and you know me, my dreams, my desires, my every need.

You know when I sit and when I rise; yes, every single job that I have...

You perceive my thoughts from afar, ... knowing the lessons I must learn from them.

You discern my going out and my lying down; everything that consumes my energy.

You are familiar with all my ways. My full calendar has your writing all over it.

Before a word is on my tongue, especially as a writer who thrives by words...

You know it completely, O Lord. Especially these intimate things that words just can't say.

You hem me in - behind and before; steadying me when I am uncertain about the future

You have laid your hand on me. so that I will not waste this life.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, no other person understands me like this.

Too lofty for me to attain. Such intimate understanding is beyond human comprehension.

Where can I go from Your Spirit? Even if I feel like it, I am never alone.

Where can I flee from Your Presence? Never abandoned, forsaken, or "flying solo."

If I go up to the heavens, You are there. In the moments of happiness, smiles and laughter.

If I make my bed in the depths, You are there. In the tears, sorrow, and confusion.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn; on every single airplane ride

If I settle on the far side of the sea; in India, Mexico, Africa, or at home

Even there Your hand will guide me, as I step out in faith, clinging to You

Your right hand will hold me fast, when there is no one else to hold me.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me, and my fears will take over

and the light become night around me, and my faith will be shaken...

Even the darkness will not be dark to You; for You quiet my heart

The night will shine like the day, giving me hope and peace that I need

for darkness is as light to you. You see the big picture.

For You created my inmost being; assuring my salvation before I was born

You knit me together in my mother's womb, just as I am for a reason.

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Your works are wonderful, I believe it.

I know that full well. You know what You're doing with me.

My frame was not hidden from You, Eternal wisdom formed this very life.

When I was made in the secret place. Nothing has escaped your notice.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, even there...

Your eyes saw my unformed body. Your eye was on me from the start.

All the days ordained for me Today, tomorrow, next week, next year...

Were written in Your book are already planned; why do I worry?

Before one of them came to be. I can live, truly LIVE because of this.

How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

If I were to count them, they are more than the sand.

I awake, and I am still with You.

That has been the story of my life lately. Yes, because He lives and reigns, I can face whatever tomorrow brings.

~ Beth

Helicopter Dreams

2010-05-17T11:43:00.002-04:00

Tears stung my eyes as I closed the door behind me. The crystal clear cobalt sky greeted me cheerily and the bright tulips nodded their heads as I passed, but even the hopeful signs of spring were little comfort. Another inside dream was crumbling in my hands and I needed a minute outside to clear the cobwebs in my head. What is the point of dreaming? I sighed, as I fingered a blade of grass.

"It seems to me, Anne, that you are never going to outgrow your fashion of setting your heart so on things crashing down into despair because you don't get them."

"I know I'm too inclined to think that way," agreed Anne ruefully. "When I think something nice is going to happen, I seem to fly right up on the wings of anticipation; and then the first thing I realize I drop down to earth with a thud. But really, Marilla, the flying part is glorious while it lasts...it's like soaring through a sunset. I think it almost pays for the thud." [Anne of Avonlea p.131]

I could have almost repeated that conversation with Marilla... although, this time, I was having my doubts even about the flying part. Maybe it wasn't worth the "thud" after all. Hoping is too painful sometimes.

My fingers absentmindedly combed the grass and brushed over a tiny, feathery seed pod. It was a helicopter seed. I looked up and could see the pods dancing down from the nearby tree; their little bodies being given fully to their brief, glorious flight to the ground. Down they came by the hundreds, each twirling with a kind of magical aura. My mind wandered back to childhood when I would gather up handfuls of the little wimsical maple seeds, just to watch them catch the wind. Carefree. Light. Hopeful.

But there was one problem... one that never even crossed my mind until now. Each of those little seeds were plummeting to their death. Thousands upon thousands of little seeds cover the sidewalks, curbs, gutters, and lawns every spring, only to be dried by the summer sun, choked by the tall grass, or washed away by the spring rain before they can take root. Only one or two little helicopter seeds will ever survive long enough to actually bear fruit -- to produce their own helicopter someday. On the outset, it looks like such a waste.

I'm a dreamer by nature. Little desires and hopes fly up on the "wings of anticipation" much like those little helicopter seeds. They dance along the outskirts of my heart, fluttering like little seeds looking for a secure place to settle and grow. But what becomes of them? Dreams and desires that go unfulfilled...are they wasted?

This was the quandary that I wrestled with on that sunshine-y day in the yard. It still comes back from time to time. As I've been thinking about it in the weeks following, however, I've come to understand...perhaps... why those dreams have to die first.

It's because of hope.

Sounds a little oxymoronic, doesn't it?

Those little tiny seeds represent something greater than a meaningless death. They represent the source from which they came. When Jesus gave us the command: "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4), He wasn't saying to never dream again. Rather, He was explaining where the focus should be... not in the little tiny seed, but in the great, majestic tree behind it. What do I love the most? Do I love God or am I just infatuated with His gifts?

A friend once told me that "falling in love is God putting a little bit of His heart in yours." If my dreams and desires are from God Himself then they will be extensions of His heart. The quality of those little seeds that come fluttering down from my heart will be a reflection of what I am truly grounded in. When my hope is securely in God alone, then those dreams are no longer mine; they are His - awaiting supernatural fulfillment in His time.

But what about when they die?

Is God so unloving as to tantalize us with dreams and desires, only to dash them cruelly before our faces? Does He give His children gifts, only to snatch them back without any replacement? What does death really mean for our dreams?

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. - John 12:24

Death means surrender. It means prying back our fingers from the tiny seeds and letting them fall. It means trusting God enough to know that He IS who HE says He is. It means having faith to know that the FRUIT that will come from that death will be far greater than we could ever ask or imagine.

When my dreams die, I get to see just how involved God is in that moment. I see His heart.

Maybe the fruit is that we will understand His heartbeat even more intimately - to know God Himself. Maybe the fruit is the passion, trust, and peace that comes from a heart that has been stripped away from any dividing love, and has become wholeheartedly devoted to the Father. Maybe the fruit is the faith that will spring up in even greater waves when we witness God resurrecting our dream in such a way that ONLY He could receive the glory.

The fruit that comes from the death of a dream is for God to determine... but it WILL come. I know that when it does, it will be the best possible outcome imaginable. I may not see it now, but I trust in His Word and give time for Providence to explain.

So therefore, my dear friends, "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." (Psalm 31:24)

~ Beth

A Good Dose of Reality

2010-04-20T10:02:00.002-04:00

If we are to be Christians who live in determined obedience, it must be because we first have joyful faith. I attended a conference last month in which the pastor explained that our first need is to be completely dominated by what Christ has done on our behalf. We need to soak ourselves with who we are in Christ -- to be well acquainted with our privileges. It is then that we will be enabled to follow through with the steps to obedience. Last Lord's Day, I was also reminded that one of the most powerful ways Satan can attack a person is by causing them to doubt their identity in Christ. Not knowing (or remembering) who we are in Christ can be one of the most debilitating weapons, because we are zapped of our spiritual energy, confidence, and vitality.

With this in mind, I thought I would start by sharing this list (feel free to add to it!) which has helped me to remember this beautiful, incredible, truly awesome thing that it is to be a child of the King. Take some time today... read it slowly... let it sink into the depths of your heart. If you are a believer, this is what you have in Christ.

Believe it.

35 Things Which Became Mine When I Trusted Christ

Ephesians 1:3 ~ "all spiritual blessings"

1. An acceptance that can never be questioned (Ephesians 1:6)

2. A forgiveness that can never be troubling again (Ephesians 1:7)

3. A seal that can never be violated (Ephesians 1:13)

4. A position that can never be challenged (Ephesians 2:5-6)

5. A citizenship that can never be alienated (Ephesians 2:19)

6. A life that can never end (Romans 6:23)

7. A relationship that can never be severed (Romans 8:14-17)

8. A righteousness that can never be tarnished (Romans 3:21-22)

9. A judgment or punishment that can never be repeated (Romans 8:1)

10. A justification that can never be altered (Romans 3:24)

11. An inheritance that can never be stolen (1 Peter 1:3-5)

12. A preservation that can never spoil (Jude 1:1)

13. A wealth that can never run out (Philippians 4:19)

14. A peace that can never be disturbed (Philippians 4:7)

15. A joy that can never be suppressed (John 16:22)

16. A love that can never be understood (John 17:23, 26)

17. A grace that can never be exhausted (2 Corinthians 8:9)

18. A strength that can never weaken (Philippians 4:13)

19. A power that can never be overcome (Matthew 28:18-20)

20. A salvation that can never be lost (John 10:28-29)

21. A deliverance that can never be stopped (II Corinthians 1:10)

22. An assurance that can never be disturbed (Philippians 1:6)

23. A nature that can never be corrupted (1 John 3:9)

24. An access that can never be broken (Romans 5:1-2)

25. A comfort that can never be forsaken (John 14:16)

26. A Living Word that can never be destroyed (I Peter 1:23-25)

27. An intercessor that can never turn me away (Hebrews 7:25)

28. A resurrection that can never be questioned (1 Corinthians 15:20)

29. A destiny that can never be changed (Jude 24)

30. A glory that can never be dimmed (I John 3:1-2)

31. A santification that can never be marred (1 Corinthians 1:30)

32. A hope that can never be quieted (Titus 2:13)

33. A priesthood that can never be defiled (1 Peter 2: 5,9)

34. A union that can never be separated (John 14:20)

- a member of His body

- Branch in His Vine

- Stone in His building

- Sheep in His flock

- Bride of the Bridegroom

35. A completion that can never be equaled (Colossians 2:10)

"...I come trembling, but I do come..."

2010-04-14T18:31:00.003-04:00

Father, I want to know Thee, but my coward heart fears to give up its toys. I cannot part with them without inward bleeding, and I do not try to hide from Thee the terror of the parting. I come trembling, but I do come. Please root from my heart all those things which I have cherished so long and which have become a very part of my living self, so that Thou mayest enter and dwell there without a rival. Then shalt Thou make the place of Thy feet glorious. Then shall my heart have no need of the sun to shine in it, for Thyself wilt be the light of it, and there shall be no night there. In Jesus Name, Amen.

AW Tozer

"The Best Violet I Can Be..."

2010-04-05T11:49:00.004-04:00

While walking around church this week, I saw some of the happiest little violets ever nodding their little heads all over the ground. YEAH! That is a sure sign that my favorite season has arrived to stay. They reminded me of this darling little story that has also been a favorite for some time now. Enjoy, and be encouraged today! :-)

The story is told of a king who went into his garden one morning and found everything withered and dying. He asked the oak tree that stood near the gate what the trouble was. The old oak replied that he was sick of life and was determined to die, because he was not tall and beautiful like the pine. The pine was all out of heart because it could not bear grapes like the vine. The vine was going to throw its life away because it could not stand erect and have as fine fruit as the peach tree; and so on through the garden.

Coming to a little purple violet, the king found its bright face lifted as cheery as ever. "Well, violet, I'm glad amidst all this discouragement to find one brave little flower. You do not seem to be the least disheartened."

"No. I'm really not an important flower, but I believe that if you wanted an oak or a pine or a peach tree or a lilac, you would have planted one; but since I know you wanted a violet, I am determined to be the best violet I can be."

-Spurgeon

The "Everyday" with God

2010-03-22T13:30:00.010-04:00

So, I’ve been thinking that it’s high time that I write a little more on here. It’s been my practice thus far to only post my writing after it is completely “finished” – when I have articles that run together and seem complete. Lately, I’ve been having this urge to just write a few of the thousand-and-one things that have been running through my head, even if it isn’t one of those polished thoughts. After all, “real life” lessons rarely come in completely organized form. For me, they usually come through muddling through mental quandaries, stumbling over words, scribbling notes on scrap paper, and asking a ton of questions because I don’t have the answers. Real life is saying “I really don’t know why” and learning to put one foot in front of the other before seeing the conclusion clearly written out. But you know, that’s okay… in fact, it’s better that way.

So, I’m going to write today as if you were sitting across from me over a cup of tea. You can stir your cup thoughtfully and give an occasional nod. I’ll chatter away rather haphazardly, completely forgetting that I have a hot beverage in front of me (which is okay - I don’t like tea that much anyway.) And who knows, maybe we can make sense of some things together.

Okay?

Okay.

So, since we’re getting real here, I thought I would talk about real life.

You know, the everyday.

We all have them.

Right now, my life has settled into a relatively regular routine, which has given me lots of chances to think about how to spend my “every day.” If you looked at my calendar right now, you would see many days in a row that say “Work: 9-5” that neatly repeats over and over and over again. That’s right. That means an early-morning groan when the cell phone alarm goes off (thanks to Anna who is keeping me accountable to get up early!) and the sigh of relief at the end of a day as I fall into bed … and everything in between. The days kinda mesh together sometimes, and honestly, it’s been all too easy to fall into the rut of the everyday and forget to live.

You know, I’m so glad that God knows what these days are like. :) In fact, I read a verse last week that I believe he designed specifically for people like me.

It is good to give thanks to the Lord,

To sing praises to your name, O Most High;

To declare your steadfast love in the morning

And your faithfulness by night

~ Psalm 92:1-2

Out of all the times in the day, why would He say to declare steadfast love in the morning? He says the same thing several other places (Psalm 59:16, Psalm 90:14), so obviously this early morning ritual is very important.

I’ve been thinking about this the last several mornings as I’ve stumbled out of bed. Since I’m not generally a morning person, getting up early isn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world. The only way that I’ve been able to cope with this practice is to set my cell phone just out of reach so that I have to actually get UP, get myself dressed and ready so I don’t fall asleep again (cold water helps!) and then finally wrap myself in a big quilt to have my time with God. It is usually THEN that I look out the window and see the sky beginning to change colors… and the morning suddenly looks much more welcoming.

Declaring “his steadfast love” to me has been much like wrapping myself up in that comfy quilt in the early mornings. It’s realizing that – even in spite of all the discipline and “hardships” that come with the normal daily routine – I have His arms wrapped around me. It’s remembering that I’ve slept in them all night long and they are there to wake me up to a new day of living in His presence. There is just something about focusing my mind on the steadfastness and assurance of His love that helps me to face the day ahead.

And then, the day flies by … and nightfall comes. I think my favorite time of the day is right before sunset. Sometimes I’m just driving home and can watch the sun slowly disappear on the horizon. Other times I manage to look outside just long enough to catch the fleeting rays of sunshine before the world is enshrouded in the blanket of darkness. Either way, God says to remember His faithfulness by night.

To me, that is very easy to see, especially at the END of the day. My mind is still fresh with all the conversations, “to-do” lists, feelings and activities of the day … and it’s usually pretty easy to see where I’ve failed and where God has come through. There is nothing quite like falling into bed at the end of the day, realizing that you’ve made it through because He was carrying you.

“We must begin and end every day with praising God, must give him thanks every morning, when we are fresh and before the business of the day comes in upon us, and every night, when we are again composed and retired, and are recollecting ourselves; we must give him thanks every morning for the mercies of the night and every night for the mercies of the day; going out and coming in we must bless God.” ~ Matthew Henry

And you know what? He says it is good for a reason.

It really

REALLY

IS.

Kinda makes the "everyday" seem a little less ordinary, doesn't it? :-)

"For Me to Live is Christ" - Mexico Trip '10

2010-02-24T23:27:00.004-05:00

A Moment to Build - Mexico '10

2010-02-23T22:32:00.014-05:00

I’ve been promising to write a little about my trip to Mexico for over a month now. My apologies for not posting this sooner. :-) I hope you enjoy a little peek into what God is doing around the world and catch a vision for what He’s doing in your corner of His Kingdom as well.

Every so often, there is a moment in time that just makes you stop in your tracks. You know, you’re walking along, quite contentedly, and then your feet stumble upon something that brings your mind back down from the clouds. A blinding flash of the obvious. A jolt into the reality that Someone greater than you is marking your steps.

It’s like you suddenly open your eyes and realize that something exciting, incredible, beautiful and eternally significant is happening.

It makes you catch your breath… and fill your lungs with the fresh air, knowing you’re exactly

...................where.

...................................you.

.........................................are.

....................................................supposed.

.....................................................................to.

............................................................................be.

Those times happen more often than we realize.

One of those times was when I stepped off the bus into Mexico last month.

The intricate way that God had planned my whirlwind three-week trip left me with no choice but to firmly embrace that He had me exactly where He wanted me to be. I couldn’t have planned my itinerary any better. A snowy road trip adventure with some sisters out to Kansas City. An evening spent with newlyweds. A sunny caravan trek to Denver with many new faces. A delightful and refreshing retreat in the Midwest with my brothers and sisters from our extended church. A beautiful evening wedding of a friend. Another all-night adventure on the road to Tuscon, Arizona. And finally, the destination: Sinaloa, Mexico.

There were eight people on our “Do Hard Things” team, representing seven different states. Our goal was to be a blessing to the Coult family, specifically by finishing the second story of their home and aiding in any other ministry work in the village. This meant full days of construction work, as well as involvement with their church to distribute “Operation Christmas Child” boxes, outreach ministry in a migrant camp, and being able to participate in the daily life where needed. It was a very full week, but one that none of us would trade. In the end, we were all able to say “mission accomplished!” with smiles on our faces.

I could tell you so many stories of God’s fingerprints…

… how He provided the necessary finances to complete the construction project (a small miracle in itself!)
… how He gave unity among our team members and others, allowing people from all different families, churches, and geographical backgrounds to work together in love and harmony
… how He gave chances to share the gospel, even through language barriers
… how a long midnight walk on the beach renewed my own weary heart
… how we saw evidences of spiritual warfare quite clearly, but also His victory over darkness
… how He protected us physically through all the construction and traveling… and in ways that we don’t even know
… how a practical joke or two might have aided in “sibling harmony” among our team members (okay, so this last one may have had more of OUR fingerprints on it. :) )

… and so, so much more (for other team accounts and pictures, check out here: Hillary, Daniel, Joanna, Sarah). However, all the individual stories are just part of one larger picture that I want to leave with you.

“For every house is built by someone,

but the builder of all things is God.”

(Hebrews 3:4)

As we were laying bricks and mixing cement (or cooking food and washing dishes), I saw a little of how God was building upon my own individual foundation of who I am in Christ. As we passed out shoeboxes full of gifts, I could only comprehend a small idea of just how much Jesus is my Treasure and how much I have been blessed. As we hugged and held the small children in the migrant camp, I could only see a tiny picture of what it’s like for Jesus to hold me securely with the assurance of my salvation and hope for the future.

But now, as I watch the snow falling softly outside, I think back on those things … and I’m beginning to see it more clearly now. He’s been building behind-the-scenes.

He is the builder of all things. He takes the circumstances and uses them to teach more about Himself. He takes the people and uses them to give a better picture of His Kingdom and the body and bride of Christ. He builds, gently and completely, even when we don’t realize it… even when it’s painful and confusing.

I saw that beautifully in Mexico. I see that beautifully here.

“Every experience God gives us, every person He
puts in our path, is the perfect preparation for a future that only He can see.”
– Corrie Ten Boom

Think about that with me for a minute. Look around at the faces close to you. Retrace your steps today and remember where you’ve been. The conversations you had. The walk to school or the drive to work. The home, neighborhood, city, state, country and continent where you live. The church that you attend. The problems you are facing.

A perfect preparation for your future?

Maybe it doesn’t seem like it now. But trust me, it is. Better yet… trust Him. He said it first:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

He is building in you. In me.

This is a moment worth taking notice of.

More to come later...

~ Beth

*pictures from Christian, Daniel, and Hillary's cameras

Walking Worthy - Part 3

2010-01-24T00:04:00.002-05:00

[continued from Part 2]

A sturdy pair of hiking boots.

I stare at them for a moment… they look rather familiar. Oh yes. I wore them the last time I learned this lesson. Here I go again, for round two (or is it twenty-two?) I looked out at the road ahead of me: two jobs, a growing church family, a lot of learning left to do and a lot of ministry.

The steps begin.

Faithfulness. Contentment. Perseverance. Contentment. Patience. Contentment.

The themes echo in my heart again and again. The scenery changes very little. Sometimes the trees seem so very tall and the trail never ends. Other times, the path opens into a wide field that is just teeming with sunshine, dancing leaves, and clear blue skies.

A new trail off to the left seems appealing.

................“Not yet, my child. Not yet.”

I venture a step to the right … maybe this trail, Lord?

.................“Not yet, my child. Not yet. Will You trust me?”

The ever-so-loving question rings in my ears. Will I trust Him? Even when the trail seems boring or meaningless? Even when I can’t see the ending?

He promises that He will never leave me. He will work everything together for my good and His glory. His timing is perfect…He is never late.

Will I believe?

The year draws to a close.

A few days into the new year, I find myself standing on a beach in Mexico late at night. Before me stretches the wide expanse of the ocean, with frothy white waves crashing against the moonlight shores. The sky above is an array of light as the stars shine forth with such brilliance as I have never seen.

It was here that the year 2009 flashed before my eyes. The running shoes. The traveling sandals. The ice skates. The hiking boots. Now, the memory of bare feet running along the sand...

And You asking me to be still.

“Be still and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!

The Lord of Hosts is with [me]

The God of Jacob is [my] fortress.”

Psalm 46:10

The journey in 2009 was a long one, but one of indescribable worth. I can look back and see Your sovereignty shining through every single step. That knowledge alone makes me excited and thrilled to run into 2010.

It is a new year. May it be one filled with more of You, Lord Jesus.

He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8

Read Part 1 ---- ~ ---- Read Part 2

Walking Worthy - Part 2

2010-01-24T00:03:00.004-05:00

[continued from Part 1]

...You slip some traveling sandals on my feet.

Away we fly together to a faraway land.

I see a place I have only dreamed about. I looked into the dark eyes of human souls. I see colors and sights and faces that harmonize together to make a melody that sings right into the deepest part of my heart.

It is beautiful. It is heartbreaking.

Beautiful because I see a glimpse of Your glory. Of Your Bride. I see my brothers and sisters worshiping the same God that I know. I see the smile of a little child who understands the love of Jesus. I see the unity of heart and mind of a team who desires to bear Your Name. I see your Kingdom being advanced. My eyes well up with tears because of the beauty of it all.

Heartbreaking because I realize just how much I need to change. My heart is stretched all the way around the world. I look back across the ocean and see my own life from a perspective that I couldn’t see before. My eyes are opened to the needs of hundreds of thousands of people… and the needs of my own heart to seek You more fully.

I realize in a whole new way what it means to live.

I don’t want this to end. Ever.

You’re asking me to change my shoes again, God?

Ice skates.

Seriously?

God, its July now! Putting on skates now totally goes against the norm. I mean, I am perfectly content to walk around on the only solid ground that I know… why would I venture into the unknown, standing on nothing but a thin piece of metal? I’m still new at that sport, God. I’m wobbly, weak, and I always have to hang on to someone else. I…

*silence*

You’re right, God. You haven’t failed me yet. I need to stop complaining…and stop looking back.

Ice skates it is.

Ouch! It’s every bit as wobbly as I thought it would be. I don’t know what to think about this sensation. So much to think about! How do I coordinate myself on this slippery plane? Figuring out why I’m here and what You would have me to do next is every bit as disconcerting as this skating thing.

I feel like a little kid again. I have so much to learn!

Wow… You are such a wise Father. I’m so glad that You don’t listen to my petty grouchiness, but instead listen to what my heart really needs. This ice skating thing is still really hard, but there is something beautiful about it. My hands are stronger because I’ve been clinging so hard to You. My feet are more sure of themselves because You put me on the ice. Dare I say that it’s worth it? Even though it’s weird to be ice skating at this time of life, I’m so glad that You never let go. You’re just teaching me to work in harmony with You… to glide more gracefully through whatever season comes next. I couldn’t do that if I was so sure of myself. The only thing I can be sure of is You.

Now what, Lord?

The leaves are falling. It’s autumn now, and I’m ready to move forward. Maybe it’s time for a new pair of shoes?

I can feel You gently replacing the ice skates with something firm. Something hard. Something tight…

Read Part 1 ---- ~ ---- Read Part 3

Walking Worthy - Part 1

2010-01-23T23:11:00.005-05:00

Writing a “year-end” review is rather a daunting task. I mean, seriously. That’s 365 days of life that just went by. That’s 728 times around the clock. Yet, there is a sense of deep awe at the mercy of God when reflecting on how much life has changed in the past year. I am so grateful that God loves me exactly the way I am, and yet loves me too much to let me STAY the way I am. So, here is a peek into what God’s been doing in my life in ’09. It’s my prayer that this will cause you to reflect upon your own life and revel in God’s goodness in continuing to change you day by day.

Reflections on 2009

Well, here I am, Lord. One blink and I’m launched into this new year of 2009. Life with You has always been quite an adventure. This year is going to be no exception… I can just feel it in the air. You know, sometimes I wonder if my prayers are somewhat naïve. I’ve always heard that I shouldn’t pray for something unless I’m completely open to however You will answer. Praying that You will change me and use me for Your glory seems like such a good, Christian prayer to pray. It’s funny how my finite mind seems to limit the ways You could answer such a prayer.

Here, I was thinking that it was going to be so easy, until I heard… what?

You want to use my feet?

My FEET?

That seems rather strange. Wouldn’t you rather use my hands, maybe? Or my head? I mean, those seem like more likely options to me…

Oh, right. I forgot (I seem to always do!). I’m not the one in charge here.

You’ve handed me a pair of running shoes.

Hmm. I’m pretty sure I know what this means. Life is going on the fast track for awhile. What an interesting way to start off this new year. I can see this mountain looming ahead of me. So much to do!

I start off going so strong. I can feel the wind in my face and can see the pavement whizzing by underneath my feet. Work, school, friends, family, church…the responsibilities start piling up. It’s getting a little harder now… I can’t see the starting point anymore.

Now, my breath is getting faster, my steps are slowing down. Lord, where are you? This is getting too hard! If I could just tear my eyes off my feet, I would be able to see the finish line. The pain is burning now. I’m out of breath.

I finally look up and realize that You’ve been right in front of me all along. The finish line isn’t too far away. You keep coaxing my eyes back up… telling me to put one foot in front of the other in faith. I don’t need to see where I’m going. I just need to see You.

Finally, I take the final step and cross the finish line. Graduation. My muscles are weary, my breath is still gone, but there is a smile on my face. I look back at the winding road and realize that it wasn’t me running there – it was Your faithfulness that brought me through. Seeing that alone made it all worth it.

‘Now,” You smile gently, “I want you to see something...”

Read Part 2 ---- ~ ---- Read Part 3

Note in a Bottle

2010-01-19T10:47:00.002-05:00

Hello dear friends,

Here I am again, attempting to form a few words. It’s been quite some time since I’ve written here. The silence has just been a catalyst for me to process all that God has done in this life of mine lately…and believe me, it has far surpassed what I ever could have imagined.

The picture that comes to mind is that of a little glass bottle bobbing along the ripples of a bubbly creek. Inside contains a little piece of paper, written by some invisible person far upstream. I can relate to how a person might feel as they release the bottle to the waves… not knowing where it will end or what eyes will read the scribbled words. It contains a feeling of hope, however - a feeble attempt to connect with another human being who might understand.

Well, communication has advanced rather well over the years, so this is the “high tech” version of a note in a bottle. :-) If I were to write one now, this is what it would say.

Life happens fast. God is the evermore the same.

Bear with me as I attempt to sort out all of the jumbled up thoughts that have come flooding in the last several weeks. God has done some incredible things, both inwardly and outwardly, and I’m excited to share bits and pieces of it with you in the near future.

~ Beth

The Sovereignty of Divine Love

2009-12-15T23:54:00.003-05:00

Every once in awhile, I come across something that just stops me in my tracks. That is what this quote did for me this past week. I just sometimes need it straight and simple: "Beth, I know what is best for you." Even when life is confusing, this is the anchor that gives me indescribable hope. So, I thought I would share it with you all, in case you need a little reminder too. =) Let's keep our eyes on the heavenly, my friends... He sees. He knows. He controls. He LOVES.

Believer, if your inheritance be a lowly one, you should be satisfied with your earthly portion; for you may rest assured that it is the fittest for you. Unerring wisdom ordained your lot, and selected for you the safest and best condition. A ship of large tonnage is to be brought up the river; now, in one part of the stream there is sand-bank; should some one ask, “Why does the captain steer through the deep part of the channel, and deviate so much from a straight line?” his answer would be, “Because I should not get my vessel into harbor at all if I did not keep to the deep channel.” So, it may be, you would run aground and suffer shipwreck, if your divine Captain did not steer you into the depths of affliction, where waves of trouble follow each other in quick succession. Some plants die if they have too much sunshine. It may be that you are planted where you get but little; you are put there by the loving Husbandman, because only in that situation will you bring forth fruit unto perfection.

Remember this: had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there.

You are placed by God in the most suitable circumstances, and if you had the choosing of your lot, you would soon cry, “Lord, choose my inheritance for me, for by my self-will I am pierced through with many sorrows.” Be content with such things as you have, since the Lord has ordered all things for your good. Take up your own daily cross; it is the burden best suited for your shoulder, and will prove most effective to make you perfect in every good word and work to the glory of God. Down, busy self and proud impatience; it is not for you to choose, but for the Lord of Love!
~ Charles Spurgeon (emphasis mine)

“He shall choose our inheritance for us.” — Psalm 47:4

On Happiness

2009-12-04T18:41:00.000-05:00

Oh and when the love spills over,
And music fills the night,

And when you can't contain your joy inside, then

Dance for Jesus

Dance for Jesus and live!*

I love those moments. Those "dance for Jesus" moments. Even if your feet never leave the floor, those are the times when the joy swells up inside and flows to every part of your being... and your heart does a soaring waltz of happiness. Smiles. Laughter. Maybe even some tears.

Like taking road trips with friends and having those heart-to-heart discussions in the darkness of the car
Or seeing your entire family hold hands to pray together over Thanksgiving
Or witnessing a breathtaking sunset that God painted in your favorite colors after a hard day of work
Or holding a newborn baby
Or watching newlywed friends decorate their first Christmas tree together
Or singing psalms until the tears run down your face
Or staying up late just to be together and laugh (even when you can't remember why the next day)

And the list goes on... and on...

I've been thinking a lot about happiness lately. It's those brief moments when heaven and earth collide and, just for awhile, things feel right with the world. Life seems to shine a little brighter, we breathe a little deeper, and we linger a little longer.

Maybe we even dance a little. :)

It's a strange phenomenon to be happy in this world. Long-term happiness is often viewed as something reserved for the delusional and unrealistic dreamers. After all, we know these moments can't last forever. Sooner or later, the circumstances change, and the emotional roller-coaster dips again.

But I've been thinking about how to maintain happiness - a true kind of joy - even when the circumstances change. When the music stops. The glorious bliss of that dancing moment fades. I'm not talking about surfing from one emotional high to the next. I'm talking about digging down deeper. Much deeper. All the way down to the source.

"How happy a person is depends on the depth of his gratitude." - John Miller

That's it. Gratitude.

The Bible so often interchanges the words 'blessed' and 'happy.' Being blessed with something means that there is a Giver. Any happiness that comes from that blessing is ultimately praise to the One who gave it.

We, as beloved children of our Heavenly Father, are happy people when we are grateful people.

We have been chosen. Forgiven. Redeemed. Delivered. Reconciled. Established. Completed. It's because "Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that He might bring us to God..." (1 Peter 3:18)

The world becomes just a little sweeter. The sunset seems a little more brilliant. The deep conversations with friends become more meaningful. Family becomes more dear. The Word of God becomes more alive. Every single thing is able to be enjoyed more fully because of Jesus Christ.

That's happiness.

Doesn't it just make you want to sing?! Standing in the shadow of the cross, knowing that you are loved by the King... it is enough to leave nothing but grateful awe and a joy that far surpasses any other notion.

"The one who knows and rests in the sovereign grace of God should be the happiest saint. Don't be a sour or glum or hostile false advertisement for the glory of God's grace. Praise it. Rejoice in it. And don't let that be a show. Do it in your closet until it is spilling over in the pulpit and in the commons." - J. Piper

I don't know about you, but I certainly need reminded of that from time to time. There's my post-Thanksgiving thought for you all. :) Have a happy, glorious day!

~ Beth

"Behold how blessed such people are! O happy people who can say they have the Lord to be their God!" - Psalm 144:15

*song lyrics from one of my favorites: 'Come to Jesus' by Chris Rice, which is also the background music from the mission to India video [ here. ]

A Thought To Start the Week...

2009-11-02T18:18:00.003-05:00

This is the thought that started off my week. May it help your perspective on the "ripples" that you send forth this week - whether big or small! :)

"Do small things as if they were great, because of the majesty of Jesus Christ - who works them in us and who lives our life; and great things as small and easy, because of His omnipotence." - Hudson Taylor

God's Silence

2009-10-27T18:24:00.000-04:00

My mom passed along this quote to me after knowing of several "unanswered" prayer requests of mine as of late. I found it encouraging and thought some of you might as well. :) I had not thought of silence in this way before. It is a refreshing reminder to refocus my mind on the utter sovereignty of Almighty God, because He waits..."that He may be gracious unto you, and therefore will He be exalted, that He may have mercy upon you...blessed are all they that wait for Him." (Isaiah 30:18)

God's Silence
John 11:5, 6

How many of us have been blind in our prayers? Look back and think of the prayers you thought had not been answered but now find that God has answered with a bigger manifestation than you ever dreamed. God has trusted you in the most intimate way He could trust you, with an absolute silence, not of despair but of pleasure, because He saw you could stand a much bigger revelation than you had at the time.

Some prayers are followed by silence because they are wrong, others because they are bigger than we can understand. Jesus stayed where He was - a positive staying, because He loved Martha and Mary. Did they get Lazarus back? They got infinitely more, they got to know the greatest truth mortal beings ever knew - that Jesus Christ is the Resurrection and the Life. It will be a wonderful moment when we stand before God and find that the prayers we clamored for in early days and imagined were never answered, have been answered in the most amazing way, and that God's silence has been the sign of the answer. If we always want to be able to point to something and say, "This is the way God answered my prayer," God cannot trust us yet with His silence.

-Oswald Chambers

The Mountain Climb of Surrender

2009-10-23T13:10:00.003-04:00

It couldn’t be true. Abraham looked over at his sleeping son, Isaac, and watched as the moonlight sent silvery streaks over his peaceful tanned face. Itseemed like just yesterday that Abraham had gazed at the star-studded midnight sky as God told him to expect many generations. At his old age, having children was almost laughable. Yet, God kept his promises, and Abraham was now looking at his son. His son! Isaac had grown up and was the light of the old man’s eyes. But now, he could not fathom what he was hearing.

“Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon the mountains which I will tell you.”

It was true. He had heard God correctly. Tears slid down the old man’s wrinkled cheeks as he grasped his son’s hand. Isaac had been given by God, Abraham could not deny that… but now God wanted him back? Questions and doubts rose in Abraham’s mind -- Why, God? Why did you give him if you only wanted to take him away again? He shook his head resolutely, as if to rid himself of the tormenting questions.

With a sigh, Abraham lifted his eyes away from the sleeping boy and out to the eastern sky. It would be light in a few hours. The rising sun would soon silhouette the mountain on which they would climb. He had wrestled long and hard with himself, as he struggled between his love for his son and his love for God. The time had come. Abraham slowly unclasped his fingers and released his son’s hand. He had made the decision.
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The story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22 has often been a passage that we turn to in order to read an account of faith. I’ve been musing on the life of this patriarch this morning… trying to “shake the sand out of my sandals” as I put myself in his shoes. Have you ever stopped to consider all of the emotions that must have come surging through Abraham’s veins following the command from God? The Bible doesn’t give an account of his inner turmoil or agony, but I can imagine how it must have been.

Every word that God spoke in this command must have been a sword right to the heart of Abraham. God knew what he cherished the most and He was asking nothing less than complete surrender of the one thing that encompassed everything that Abraham loved.

Only hours later, Abraham would stand on the mountain – with the glistening blade of the knife poised against the blue sky – making the decision once and for all. He would have to prove that his faith was real … not just a casual belief when it was convenient, but a living, thriving, active faithfulness to God and His promises.

I can never seem to get past the agony of that mountain climb in my mind. Perhaps it is because that is the place in the story that I most often find myself … wrestling inside with what I KNOW to be true and what I FEEL. Maybe Abraham didn’t struggle with this … but I know I would have. This is my Isaac: my joy. My promise of the future. Why would I give it up? All rational thought would have said to hang on to what I can see about my future, rather than releasing the only thread of “hope” that my eyes could see. It is an upward struggle against the flesh – to come to that point of suppressing what I “feel” in order that I might take hold of the truth that awaits on the mountaintop.

John Calvin says it this way: “Therefore, in order that we may become docile and obedient to God, it is profitable for us that we should be deprived of our own wisdom, and that nothing should be left us, but to resign ourselves to be led according to His will.” By releasing Isaac in his heart (and thus making it possible to even entertain the thought of slaying him according to God’s command), Abraham was letting go of any earthly wisdom that he possessed, and choosing rather to throw himself completely upon the mercy and truth of his Father. He was saying by his actions: “It is the LORD. Let Him do what seems good to Him.”

If I am to become a useful vessel in the hands of Almighty God, this lesson of surrender is absolutely crucial. “God, by His word, calls us to part with all for Christ, all our sins, tho’ they have been as a right hand or a right eye, or an Isaac; all these things that are rivals with Christ for the sovereignty of our heart; and we must cheerfully let them all go.” (John Wesley)

The beauty of this surrender lies in the character of God Himself. He is not requiring us to give up these lesser joys – without promising to fill us with the Greater Joy.

“Those that are willing to part with anything for God, shall have it made up to them with unspeakable advantage. The promise (verse 18) doubtless points at the Messiah, and the grace of the gospel. Hereby we know the loving-kindness of God our Savior towards sinful man, in that he hath not withheld his Son, his only Son, from us. Hereby we perceive the love of Christ, in that he gave himself a sacrifice for our sins. Yet He lives, and calls to sinners to come to Him, and partake of His blood-bought salvation. He calls to His redeemed people to rejoice in Him, and to glorify Him.” (Matthew Henry)

May this kind of love constrain me to live for something more than just myself. His grace is enough. Whatever is dearest on earth to me pales in comparison to the sacrifice that He laid down for my salvation. May it be said of us, as it was of Abraham …

“No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what He had promised.” (Romans 4:20)

Picture from Oregon coast – October 2008.

The Marriage Effect

2009-10-07T22:56:00.005-04:00

One of the beauties of living as a child of the King is that - no matter what stage of life we are in - we can be channels of His truth. I've been the witness at many weddings this summer and it has been a pure joy to see how God has united the hearts of many dear friends to be a picture to the watching world of His relationship with His Bride, the church. Seeing these beautiful, God-honoring love stories right before my eyes reminds me that there is a deeper purpose for marriage - one uniquely invented and sustained by God Himself. Here is a sneak peek into a few of these celebrations - along with some thoughts about the effects of this blessed union on the individual, couple, and to the world.

"We are souls living in bodies. Therefore, when we really fall in love, it isn't just a physical attraction. If it's just that, it won't last. Ideally, it's also a spiritual attraction. God has opened our eyes and let us see into someone's soul. We have fallen in love with the inner person, the person who's going to live forever. That is why God is the greatest asset to romance. He thought it up in the first place. Include Him in every part of your marriage, and He will lift it above the level of the mundane to something rare and beautiful and lasting." ~ Peter Marshall

"Marriage is not a federation of two sovereign states. It is a union - domestic, social, spiritual, physical. It is the fusion of two hearts - the union of two lives - the coming together of two tributaries, which, after being joined in marriage will flow in the same channel in the same direction... carrying the same burdens of responsibility and obligation." ~ Peter Marshall

“Marriage is patterned after Christ’s covenant relationship to his redeemed people, the church. And therefore, the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display. That is why marriage exists. If you are married, that is why you are married . . . Staying married, therefore, is not mainly about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant.” —John Piper, This Momentary Marriage

Welcome one another . . . for the glory of God.” That is God’s word for your marriage. Thank him for it; thank him for leading you thus far; ask him to establish your marriage, to confirm it, sanctify it, and preserve it. So your marriage will be “for the praise of his glory.” Amen. ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Pictures: Michael & Evie (June 14), Eric & Alissa (July 31), John & Rebekah (September 12), Matt & Naomi (September 26) and Nathan & Valerie (October 3) . May God richly bless you all!

Trusting His Heart

2009-10-05T20:11:00.006-04:00

It is that time of year again. The calendar on my wall now prominently displays the month of October and I am resigned to say goodbye to the last glimpses of summer. The trees are already donning their fall fashions of brilliant yellows, golden browns, reds and oranges, arraying themselves in one last glorious display. My boots and scarves are finding their way to the front of my closet once again as I embrace the underlying chill in the breeze.

Autumn brings the brisk winds of change. For some reason, changes in my life seem to be felt more keenly during this season more than any other. I’ve been thinking a lot about how to deal with a new season of life that I find myself in. I wanted to pass along some quotes that I came across over at Pastor Tullian Tchividjian's blog that have been tremendously encouraging.

From Knowing God by J.I. Packer

In regards to changes in life... what possible purposes God might have in mind?

Perhaps he means to strengthen us in patience, good humor, compassion, humility, or meekness, by giving us some extra practice in exercising these graces under
especially difficult conditions.

Perhaps he has new lessons in self-denial and self-distrust to teach us.

Perhaps he wishes to break us of complacency, or unreality, or undetected forms of pride and conceit.

Perhaps his purpose is simply to draw us closer to himself in conscious communion with him; for it is often the case, as all the saints know, that fellowship with the Father and the Son is most vivid and sweet, and Christian joy is greatest, when the cross is heaviest. . . .

Or perhaps God is preparing us for forms of service of which at present we have no inkling.

Packer continues:

We may be frankly bewildered at things that happen to us, but God knows exactly what he is doing, and what he is after, in his handling of our affairs. Always, and in everything, he is wise: we shall see that hereafter, even where we never saw it here. . . . Meanwhile, we ought not to hesitate to trust his wisdom, even when he leaves us in the dark.

But how should we respond to baffling and trying situations when we cannot now see God’s purpose in them?

First, by taking them as from God, and asking ourselves what reactions to them, and in them, the gospel of God requires of us; Second, by seeking God’s face specifically about them.

If we do these two things, we shall never find ourselves wholly in the dark as to God’s purpose in our troubles.

Isn’t that envigorating? With this kind of Sovereign GOD planning our lives, we can rest assured that He is “able to do far more abundantly than we can ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20) ...and even when we can’t see His hand, we can still trust His heart.

~ Beth

A Golden Treasure

2009-09-19T23:33:00.005-04:00

One of my favorite parts of history has always been the pioneer era. I was the child gallivanting around my neighborhood in braids and mismatched sunbonnets, wondering why we couldn’t just all live in log cabins and play fiddle music. (I admit that my romanticized notions of such life have been largely influenced by Little House on the Prairie.) One thing I read that pioneers often did was “pan for gold.” Of course, I eagerly tried that too - rather unsuccessfully, I might add.

Well, gone are the days of plaid aprons, but I realized tonight that I still do “pan for gold” – in a different way. Rather than sifting through rocks on a creek bed, I find myself sorting out more “grownup” thoughts through pen and paper. Yeah… journaling.

I don’t know about you, but my journals usually consist of just the “raw data” – the unpolished flow of emotions that just spill out onto the page, without much rhyme, reason, or readability (hence the reason I marvel at such people like Jim Elliot whose private journals are incredibly profound.) Somehow, thankfully, God always seems to sift through my jumbled thoughts by showing me some shining nugget of truth from His Word.

I found myself doing some pretty intense “panning for gold” tonight and wanted to share with you an incredibly precious truth that God brought to the surface in my life.

Why? Because sometimes we just need the simple truth. Forget the flowery words, creative introductions, detailed outlines, or sophisticated profundity. When life gets confusing, there is one solution for peace… and that is a mind that is resting on Christ’s truth alone (Isaiah 26:3). The rest of the silt will just fade away.

So, here is a little treasure for you to take hold of right now. Perhaps it will be a shining light of hope in whatever situation you are going through, as it has been in mine tonight.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

(Isaiah 41:10)

This is saying to me…

My precious child, do not be afraid… of being lonely, rejected, ashamed or unloved. Remember that I am with you. I’m not just ‘within call’ – but I am right here beside you. Don’t be dismayed – don’t be gazing around you with anxiety. Remember I am your Eloheim, your Creator, Preserver, Transcendent God, Mighty, and Strong. I have three promises for you. Are you weak? I will strengthen you – cause you to be strong, alert, courageous, brave, stout, bold, solid, and hard. Are you in want? I will be your help, your support, your aid. Are you ready to fall? I will uphold you – you are in the palm of my hand – grasped, supported, held fast. I’m hanging on to you with my right hand – the one that is full of righteousness, dealing forth both rewards and punishments. I am the Lord God, and I am faithful to my promises.

Trusting God along with you,

Beth

His Words. Not Mine.

2009-09-15T22:12:00.002-04:00

Last night, we had a beautiful sunset.

Grabbing my jacket, I seated myself on my front porch with my laptop, hoping to draw from the depths of inspiration that displayed itself so richly before my eyes. The sky was painted in elaborate hues of coral pink and dusky purple, as the last golden rays feathered lightly over the clouds and gently faded into the pastel display.

Several minutes passed, and my fingers didn’t move a muscle from the keyboard. Eventually, I just closed my laptop.

One of the most frustrating things to a writer is when we discover that words just aren’t enough. This is the hardest part when it comes to writing about God. What can I do to make these feeble words describe His power? His sovereignty? His majesty? His glory?

Nothing. Zilch. Nada.

It’s something that I can’t even fully grasp in my mind, much less write about.

How can I put into words the feelings of awe that come when I look out over majestic mountain ranges, feel the mist of a mighty ocean on my face, or watch a thunderstorm roll in? How can I do justice to His sovereignty, as I look back and see how He has written every single chapter of life so perfectly? What human words can express a Father’s love for his child, the wisdom of His ways, or the depths of His thoughts?

Although I continue to write, it is with the knowledge that the words that are penned here will never be enough to fully and adequately give Him the glory that He deserves.

But His words are.

So, take a moment and rest your thoughts on these words. Read them out loud, even. Truly, it doesn’t get any better than from the mouth of God Himself.

You who bring good tidings to Zion,
Go up on a high mountain.
You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem,
Lift up your voice with a shout,
Lift it up, do not be afraid;
Say to the towns of Judah,
“Here is your God!”
See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power,
And His arm rules for Him.
See, His reward is with Him,
And His recompense accompanies Him.
He tends His flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in His arms
And carries them close to His heart;
He gently leads those that have young.

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand,
Or with the breadth of His hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
Or weighed the mountains on the scales
And the hills in a balance?
Who has understood the mind of the LORD,
Or instructed Him as His counselor?
Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten Him,
And who taught Him the right way?
Who was it that taught Him knowledge
Or showed Him the path of understanding?

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
And its peoples are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
And spreads them out like a tent to live in.
He brings princes to naught
And reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.

“To whom will you compare Me?
Or who is My equal?” says the Holy One.
Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
And calls them each by name.
Because of His great power and mighty strength,
Not one of them is missing.

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
The Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
And His understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
And increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
And young men stumble and fall;
But those who hope in the LORD
Will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not grow weary,
They will walk and not faint.

~Excerpts from Isaiah 40~

Picture 1: Mount Hood, Oregon - October, 2008

Picture 2 - Arabian Sea/Indian Ocean, India - June, 2009

Picture 3 - Indianapolis, Indiana in the fall- October, 2007

Picture 4 - Somewhere between Crawford and Dallas, Texas - June, 2008

Beyond Service...

2009-09-01T09:58:00.002-04:00

Good morning, friends.

I ran across this quote this morning and it directly spoke to me and this topic that I wrote about in my last post. Enjoy and be blessed as you live for Him today.

~ Beth

_______________________________________

"Notwithstanding in this rejoice not..., but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven." - Luke 10: 19,20

Jesus Christ says, in effect, Don't rejoice in successful service, but rejoice because you are rightly related to Me. The snare in Christian work is to rejoice in successful service, to rejoice in the fact that God has used you. You never can measure what God will do through you if you are rightly related to Jesus Christ. Keep your relationship right with Him, then whatever circumstances you are in, and whoever you meet day by day, He is pouring out rivers of living water through you, and it is of His mercy that He does not let you know it. When once you are rightly related to God by salvation and sanctification, remember that wherever you are, you are put there by God; and by the reaction of your life on the circumstances around you, you will fulfill God's purpose, as long as your keep in the light as God is in the light.

The tendency today is to put the emphasis on service. Beware of the people who make usefulness their ground of appeal. If you make usefulness the test, then Jesus Christ was the greatest failure that ever lived. The lodestar of the saint is God Himself, not estimated usefulness. It is the work that God does through us that counts, not what we do for Him. All that Our Lord heeds in a man's life is the relationship of worth to His Father...

~ Oswald Chambers

HT: Janille Myers

Sanctuary Lives

2009-07-30T13:27:00.004-04:00

When I think about having a “Ripple Effect” – I almost immediately think about action. We are people that are often driven by what we do… sometimes to the detriment of forgetting who we are. God reminded me of this recently, and I thought I would share a little of what God has been showing me through a busy schedule and a well-known Bible story.
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With a great sigh, I collapsed into my bed. Every muscle protested in rebellion and my tired brain seemed tied up in knots. Tears stung the back of my eyes, but I was too tired to even cry.

It was the middle of a busy week – Wednesday, to be exact – and it felt like it should be Friday. Already I had reached my limit and my date with my pillow was long overdue.

As I sank back on the disheveled covers that had been forsaken in great haste that morning, my mind flashed the scenes from the past couple of days. Shuffling papers, answering phones, painting walls, cooking food for a crowd, meeting with people, juggling details and learning a new job had taken more energy than I had to give. The fulfillment that used to come from being “busy” had turned into the tyrannical dictator of exhaustion.

As my brain drifted out of consciousness, I had a sinking feeling in my heart. Even with all that had been accomplished, I still felt like I had failed.

What is wrong with me? I moaned inwardly. Sleep overcame before I could answer.

The next morning, the cruel sound of the alarm clock jolted my senses all too soon, I once again found myself at work… still rubbing sleep out of my eyes. The question that haunted my dreams the night before returned. Why do I feel like this? I am doing what I’m supposed to do … serving God. Isn’t that supposed to make me fulfilled?

In the back of my mind, I knew otherwise. I knew that at the end of the day, it’s not enough to have a busy life. Even a busy serving life.

With a guilty sigh, I opened up my Bible … trying not to think about how many days had passed since I last truly read it, beyond just the routine reading. Ouch.

God had someone for me to meet … again.

We had met before. In fact, I could see her profile in much of my life, even though she lived and died around two thousand years ago. She was the one “distracted with much serving.” (Luke 10:39). In my mind’s eye, I could see her slaving over the menus, checking the vegetables to see if they were overdone, making sure the plates were out on the table on time. I could see the pile of papers in the back office, silently screaming for attention. I could see her calendar that was filled with red markings and circled events – trying making sure nothing fell through the cracks.

It all sounded way too familiar.

Jesus had this gentle rebuke for his weary and frustrated child: “You are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.” (verse 41) I love the tenderness and compassion that comes through His words. He knows that we as busy people tend to find our identity and affirmation based on what we accomplish. Serving? Yes, it’s a good thing. But He cares more about our hearts than about our actions. He wants us to focus on the one thing: Himself.

As I read through the story and saw the contrast between Martha and her sister Mary, I thought about what it means to live and work in the presence of Jesus.

When we go to church, we enter into a sanctuary (a refuge, a consecrated place) to worship the Lord. Living our lives out in His presence is living a “sanctuary life.” This is a heart attitude that goes much deeper than our “to do” list.

There is a daily battle that is raging inside of us over what we love most – God or something else. If Jesus doesn’t have our hearts, then everything that we do is simply wasted energy. What He really wants are servants who are willing to sit at His feet – to have the continual attitude of communion with God regardless of the activities that surround our day. He then becomes the strength and the joy behind the work that our hands find to do.

That is the kind of life I want to live.

The Valley of Vision

2009-07-19T21:19:00.004-04:00

Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly,

Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory.
Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the day time stars can be seen from the deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine;
let me find Thy light in my darkness,
Thy life in my death, Thy joy in my sorrow,
Thy grace in my sin, Thy riches in my poverty,
Thy glory in my valley.

The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions, edited by Arthur Bennett
Picture from the beautiful Oregon countryside - June, 2009.

A New Kind of Normal

2009-07-01T23:29:00.005-04:00

(The following is a somewhat belated post which wraps up a few thoughts about my recent travels.)

This morning, I woke up to the bright sunrays dancing off the walls of my bedroom. For the first time, I didn’t have to wonder where I was. After several weeks of seeing those same sunrays dance off of hotel rooms, guest bedrooms, and church walls of India, I am now back in the place I call home.

It’s a good place to be.

Many people have asked about my travels. “So, how was it??” Oh, the words can never say…

Did you meet any interesting people on the airplanes?

My favorite was the dear elderly lady during my flight to Portland who was estatic about the possibility of Jesus coming back while we were in the air. :)

How did you like the food?

If I could spend my life eating with my fingers like they do in India, I would.

Did you see anything interesting?

Do mountain ranges, three oceans, volcanoes, and wild elephants count?

I love the questions. Even if I don’t have answers. But one reoccurring question that I can never seem to really answer is this:

Are you back to normal yet?

Normal.

I’ll have to think about that one.

It’s true, I’m over jetlag. I’m not stared at in the grocery store anymore. I’m not swatting mosquitos, running through jam-packed traffic, or hearing security guard whistles in my sleep. I’m sleeping in a bed, driving my car back to work, laughing with my brothers, and doing all the things I did before (although I’m still taking those malaria pills!) I’m back in the familiar places with the familiar people. I know those dear people mean well when they ask about my physical wellbeing. But deep inside, I know that my normal – my spiritual “normal” – will never be the same… nor should it be.

Traveling is a very reflective exercise. Since my feet have been on solid ground for many days now, I’ve had time to think. I’ve gone through my pictures, re-read my journal, re-lived the memories, and have done a lot of talking with my Father about it all.

Being back home launches me into a new kind of journey … that of reconciling where I’ve been with where I am. That journey alone has possibilities of changing my life all over again.

It’s hard.

In India, I was a person with one mission, one goal. The people there didn’t know anything about me except that I was from America, I had two hands, and I was there for them. The past was irrelevant and the future was unknown, but the present was a new adventure every day with God. I would see new places, touch new hands, look into new eyes… and see Him in it all. I was surrounded by people who passionately loved God and desired to see His Word spread – and it was contagious. In the mornings, He would meet me though His Word on the roof and give me new vigor and perspective about everything in life… in that faraway place where I was undistracted and completely surrendered. I was totally and completely there.

It was beautiful. It was humbling. And I want to be that person…

Here

The problem with “normal” for me is that it is just the opposite. “Normal” means reverting back to yesterday, conforming to what is usual and average, and forgetting the things that have changed. Normal means living a life just like everyone else on the planet, caring about the things they do… living normal lives, experiencing normal problems, dying normal deaths. I’m scared of being normal.

I don't ever want to forget those faces that have woven their way into the depths of my heart…

…or how powerful it is to worship our God together, regardless of race, language, or culture

… or what it’s like to spend every day focusing on proclaiming Christ

… or the humbling realization that God is choosing to speak through someone so inadequate, worthless, and helpless as I am

... or what it’s like to see through His compassionate eyes… to see real people and not just the sea of faces

… or what it’s like to face battles larger than myself and to see His victories

… or how life changes with an eternal perspective

… or that Jesus is enough for me.

It’s that kind of change that keeps me running back to the Cross, continually realizing my own sinful nature and the high calling of being different for the sake of Christ. Continuing that kind of mission vision here on my home missionfield requires a continual surrender of will and a reliance on His grace… but it’s the same, because He is the same God both here and there. That is the sweetest thing in the world.

May I never forget. And may I never be normal again. :)

~ Beth

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you" - Matthew 6:33

Come to Jesus - Video

2009-06-21T16:10:00.002-04:00

What Words Just Can't Say

2009-06-19T18:19:00.011-04:00

As a writer, one of the most frustrating things is when the words just don’t do justice to all the emotions and thoughts that you’re yearning to spill out. Since I’ve returned home , my heart has been overflowing… but the sentences still remain muddled in my head. I think it will take quite some time to process everything that I learned. I’m really not much of a poet, but here are a few thoughts that attempt to explain this quandary a little... in response to my last month spent in India.

What Words Just Can’t Say

An empty page still lies before me
Lord, I struggle with words tonight
My own seem so shallow, so frail
So inadequate to set it all right

Near are the memories and thoughts
Inexpressible, and yet they impart
Far more than the tongue can tell
As mirrors into the Father's heart

Words just can't say FAITH
When a little hand slips into yours,
A life full of future and of youth
Unhindered by worldly doubts and fears
With shining dark eyes believing truth

And words just can't say JOY
When small voices lift up their songs of praise
Our open arms find hugs and little hands
Eager and instant friendships form through a smile
And laughter comes from balloons and ... popsicle stands :P

And words just can't say STRENGTH
When the church is small, yet learning to stand
And as ominous clouds of opposition roll in
Faith and courage bring perseverance
As He continues to work in the hearts of men.

And words just can't say CHANGE
The blessed mystery when God moves inward
All defenses are broken, the gospel is made real
I learned to see His love and His truth
That goes far beyond what I can think or feel

And words just can't say LOVE
As Jesus permeates through all barriers
Strangers become family, bound by Him
Through worship, prayer, laughter and tears
All ... with a love that will never dim.

Sometimes, words just aren't enough.

Faith. Joy. Strength. Change. Love.

It’s meant to be LIVED.

"Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether." (Psalm 139:4)

Mountains and Oceans

2009-06-17T19:54:00.004-04:00

As I continue to process many of my thoughts, feelings, and lessons from the past month in India, I thought you would enjoy a few glimpses of some of God's beautiful creation on the other side of the globe. Both of these short narrative videos were taken during our team's two-day trip to Tamil Nadu and Kerala... a mountaintop experience and a ocean view.
~ Beth

How Great is our God!

2009-06-06T02:12:00.004-04:00

The hazy mountains in the distance stretched as far as the eye could see, solemnly and majestically rising into the pink sunset clouds. Words could not even form as I looked out upon the landscape over India. The only thing that came near enough was the words that our team sang together as we watched the setting sun.

Bless the Lord, O my soul. O Lord my God, thou art very great; thou art clothed with honor and majesty.” (Psalm 104:1)

The Psalmist’s cry is the closest thing to remedying such speechlessness. O Lord, my God, thou art very great! What a blessed thing it is to be able to say “my God” in reference to the most holy, powerful, omnipotent Eloheim. What a privilege it is to be called a child of this Creator!
God has been teaching me so many things about Himself and about His Kingdom around the world. It is hard to process it all, except to marvel at His greatness and His lovingkindness that He shows to His children.

Thank you all for your continued prayers as we continue here in India. The Lord has done so much in the last week, and we are praising Him for His watchful care and His continuing sanctifying work in many hearts and lives. Last Saturday, our team had our Gospel Presentation. Around 50 children, many whom had attended VBS the previous week, came along with around 30 parents and other adults. We were able to sing many appropriate psalms and hymns which highlighted the main points of the gospel. The rendition of the story of the Prodigal Son (starring Nick as the prodigal son and Zachary as the forgiving father) was one of the highlights of the program. We are claiming the promises of God that His word will never return void, but will accomplish His purposes in hearts and lives.

This week, our team has returned from a two day excursion to Tamil Nadu and Kerala, where we were visiting missionary friends and enjoying some of God’s marvelous creation together. We enjoyed a mountain climb, splashing around in the Indian ocean, a rather adventurous car ride, and some sightings of wild elephants… among many other memories.

Currently, our team is together at the church, cherishing the last few days here in this blessed country. Please continue to pray as we look for ways to bless and encourage these believers around us before we return. Today (Saturday) we are preparing to teach at a youth meeting with some young believers in Pastor Babu’s church. We are excited about sharing what the Lord has taught us over the years about growing in Christ. Please pray that we would speak God’s words and that He would be glorified through these young, precious lives.

In His Name,
Beth

Top picture overlooking Indian valleys from the Western Ghats mountains. Photography by Zachary.

Lord's Day in India

2009-06-01T12:30:00.004-04:00

This past Lord's Day, our team visited a Kannada church that has been partnering with the ministry here. I thought you all would enjoy seeing a little of the body of believers that we are blessed to know here in India. (If you hear "Akka!" in the background, that means "big sister." That is coming from the children who were following behind me.) Enjoy!

The team will be leaving early tomorrow morning (Tuesday) for a road-trip to visit and encourage some missionaries in the next state. We will return sometime on Thursday. Thank you for your prayers, everyone!

~ Beth

The Power of the Cross

2009-06-01T04:04:00.002-04:00

“All your rejoicing in all things should therefore be a rejoicing in the Cross where all your blessings were purchased for you at the cost of the death of the Son of God, Jesus Christ.” (John Piper, Don’t Waste Your Life, p.57)

During four days last week, Dr. Rao taught a series of sessions here in India that unfolded the story of the Bible from cover to cover. He gave an overview of the Bible, highlighting the major themes and clearly explaining the gospel message in greater detail. Many of the people who came were Kannada speaking and listened very attentively as the message was translated.

On the last evening, our translator led the group in prayer in Kannada. Listening to these precious people pray to the One True God in their native language is one of the most beautiful things on earth. Although I couldn’t understand what he was saying, I could tell that it was heart-felt and very meaningful. I found out later that two women had given their lives over to Jesus Christ during that prayer. Praise the Lord!

I am continually humbled and amazed at the wonderful love of Jesus Christ. Being able to continually focus my mind again and again on the life-changing power of the gospel has been both refreshing and challenging. Going through the five colors of the Wordless Book with the children helped me to see that we must have the faith of a child in order to believe. Explaining the bridge illustration to two children afterwards reminded me of God’s whole plan of salvation as He bridged the gap between us and God. Writing out my salvation testimony to share with the community that gathered for our presentation reminded me of my own story and His powerful saving work. Hearing the salvation testimonies of my other team members as they each spoke a different evening spoke volumes of God’s sovereignty in calling people unto Himself. That’s the power of the cross.

One thing that God showed me this week is that the impact of the Gospel is truly HIS redeeming work in people’s lives. God can use people to speak His words, but there is ultimately not any effort on our part that can draw people to Him. “For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.” (2 Corinthians 4).

We have been seeing God move in the hearts of people around us, and we covet your prayers as this time of ministry here continues. The pastor has told us of many people who have shown interest – even Hindu people who have been attending church services. Hearts that were previously closed to the gospel (as in the case of one young woman who works here in the church) have been opened within the past few weeks. We are praising God for the visible work of His hand … and even more as He works in the unseen. Praise His Holy Name!

Gospel Musical Presentation

2009-05-29T23:59:00.004-04:00

The laughter and singing of children that rang through the halls of the church building last week have been replaced with some new sounds this week. Here in India, we have been enjoying a somewhat relaxed, yet busy schedule as God has blessed new areas of ministry. Instead of practicing hand motions for children’s songs, we are harmonizing psalms and hymns together as a team. Instead of cutting out crafts, we are learning to weave Biblical themes together in a meaningful way. And instead of chasing children around, we are chasing each other around as we brush up on our amateur acting abilities. All of these together are preparations for a Gospel Musical Presentation that we will be giving to the Indian community this weekend.

The children from last week’s VBS program have all been invited, along with their parents, to a presentation called “The Greatest Rescue.” This will be a presentation filled with songs, Scripture verses, salvation testimonies, a sermon from Pastor George, and a short skit that illustrates the gospel through the Prodigal Son story in Luke 15.

Please be praying for us as we deliver this life-changing message. Our audience is primarily Kannada speaking, so be praying that God’s word would go forth in a powerful way even though the language barriers. It is our earnest prayer that lives would be touched and changed, just as we have seen God do so many times already. May God be glorified through our efforts and bring many to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Thanks for your prayers, everyone. We serve an amazing God and He is working.

~ Beth

VBS Week Video

2009-05-24T06:02:00.003-04:00

The following video is a short review of our VBS week. Many thanks go to Zachary for the editing, Anjali for providing the Hindi worship music, and for the rest of the team who contributed as well. We hope you enjoy this preview of what God did during this past week.

~ Beth

More about Jesus...

2009-05-21T06:30:00.008-04:00

The sounds of running feet, laughter, enthusiastic singing, and quiet shhhs have been familiar ones lately. The lyrics from the Wordless Book song: "My heart was dark with sin until the Savior came in…” ring through the halls and the sounds of children reciting their verses echo the enthusiasm that they have shown all week. As VBS continues here in India, we are also continuing to see evidences of God speaking to individual hearts as well.

"Tell me more about Jesus, Akka.” Those few words have been the highlight of this week for me. We have been blessed to have many spiritual conversations with these young children, many of whom have some very profound questions. We are encouraged that so many have come to VBS already having Christian influences, and it is a blessing to help them understand more about Jesus.

The last few days, we have been focusing on the concepts of sin, the price that Jesus paid on Calvary, and the need for forgiveness, using the corresponding colors of black, red, and white to illustrate the message. We are so thankful that the Lord is continuing to work in the lives of these children, in spite of our own weaknesses, inadequacies, and language barriers. Although all of the fruit may not be immediately evident, we are confident that God is doing a great work here.

God has blessed this VBS with many more children than expected, so we are spending our afternoons preparing even more supplies and craft materials for this influx of children. Today (Thursday), we had a total of 79 children, with more expected for our final day tomorrow.

Thank you for your prayers this week. Please continue to pray for us as we prepare and teach our final day tomorrow… that the seeds that have been planted would grow and bring forth much fruit. Pray especially for the children that have expressed a serious interest in learning more about Jesus – specifically Ashivarya, Jonathan, Rohan, Hannah, and several others. Many of these children have already made a commitment to Jesus Christ, but have many questions and concerns about their faith – especially when it relates to the culture around them.

Last night, Pastor George read portions of Psalm 89 during our team prayer meeting. It reminded me where our focus should be as we continue into this last day.

"Blessed is the people that know the joyful sound: they shall walk, O Lord, in the light of Thy countenance. In Thy name shall they rejoice all the day: and in Thy righteousness shall they be exalted. For Thou art the glory of their strength: and in Thy favor our horn shall be exalted. For the LORD is our defence; and the Holy One of Israel is our King." (Psalm 89:15-18)

~ Beth

Pictures:

Top right: Maria Delphia enjoying a rousing game of "Duck, Duck, Goose" before VBS began

Middle: Pastor Babu translating for the Kannada class

Bottom right: Nirmala answers questions from a few young girls

(All pictures courtesy of Nick Rao)

India Ministry - VBS

2009-05-18T11:57:00.006-04:00

“Akka! Akka!” (Big sister! Big sister!)
...
... ... Two beautiful brown eyes looked up at me, beckoning for assistance. She knew very little English, and I knew absolutely no Tamil, but the language barrier was broken with the assistance of a few crayons. Together we colored her paper basket that went along with the story for the day. It was the first day of VBS, and around 50 children from around the city gathered for songs, stories, verses, and crafts at the church.
...
... ... Today, we focused on the color “yellow” from the Wordless book. This color stands for God and the concepts of his holiness and power. We told the Bible stories of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with five loaves and two fishes … and the story of Jesus filling the nets of the disciples with fish. The verse that they committed to memory was Matthew 16:16: “And Simon Peter answered and said: Thou art the Christ, the son of the Living God.”
...
... ... Many of the children who attended today have some Christian influences from other churches in the city. It was a blessing to see their enthusiasm and instant warmth. Even though they were familiar with the concepts of Jesus and God, it was a refreshing reminder to focus our minds together on the greatness of the one True God.
...
... ... One of the songs that we taught the children this morning was “My God is so Great” – a familiar childhood song.
...
... ...

My God is so great!
So strong and so mighty
There’s nothing my God cannot do!

...

... Such simple words… such powerful meaning. Do we believe it?
...
... ... We are blessed with how well the VBS program went today. God granted us all safety, and good relationships were established. Please continue to pray for the rest of the program this week – that we would be able to accurately convey the power of the gospel and that the Holy Spirit would move in many hearts to draw closer to God.
...
... ... ~ Beth

Arrived in India

2009-05-16T10:11:00.004-04:00

The sun had just barely risen over Indianapolis on Wednesday, when the 2009 India team set out for the other side of the world. Around 30 hours later, this same team was greeted with the balmy midnight breeze of Bangalore.

Eight people. One mission. One God.

Thank you all so much for praying for us as we traveled to India the past few days. The team has now safely arrived and are settled in (and almost over jetlag!). Internet is scarce here right now, but I wanted to give you all a brief update. God has already taught me SO MUCH in the last two days that it’s hard to process it all. As I think back on our travels to this place, however, one scene stands out in my mind as being particularly significant.

I will never forget my first glimpse of India. After being on a plane for so long, a glimpse of the ground below was a welcome sight. It was pitch black outside, but as I looked closely, I could see the faintest lights on the ground. As we got closer, the lights became more and more brilliant – scattered all over the landscape like little stars. INDIA. It was an unforgettable sight.

“That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world” – Philippians 2:15

The lights shining out of the darkness reminded me so much of our mission as a team. We are the lights in this land of spiritual darkness. I prayed fervently that God would allow us to shine as brightly as those lights that I saw from the plane. Only God knows what He has in store for us… but I’m so excited to be called His child and given this mission to carry His name. What a privilege!

We are settled in with the pastor’s family at the church and are getting ready for worship tomorrow and teaching VBS all next week. Please pray as Dr. Rao preaches in the Kannada worship service (through a translator) and as we build relationships with the small congregation meeting here tomorrow. This next week will be an exciting and very intense time of ministry with the children, so we greatly covet your prayers.

~ Beth

(for the team)