•Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I know I've dropped off the face of the earth lately. In between school, work, church responsibilities, friends, and finishing my Capstone paper that was breathing down my neck, it resulted in a pretty insane week and many sleepless nights. I found this humorous article that I wrote awhile back and thought I would post it here. It just seemed to fit with this week. ;-)
It was inevitable. Sooner or later, his time had to come. My close friend, Tim E. Procrastination, has finally been laid to rest, after dying right at the last minute. As I enshroud the last remnants of his existence, I reflect on the impact and reputation that he left behind.
Although uncertain about the exact date of birth, Procrastination is commonly thought to have come into being about the same time as his rival, Hard Work. Both were inseparable since the beginning, although many would remark that they often seemed to be heading in opposite directions.
Procrastination was an inventor, by profession, although many of his pet projects never paid up in the end. His work was known to have widespread influence over everything from Internet surfing to bathroom scales. He was particularly popular among the college crowd … coming up with such creative outlets such as caffeine addictions and all-nighters.
Unfortunately, things quickly took a turn for the worse, leaving Procrastination with a notorious reputation. He lived a full and varied life, but sadly could never seem to get to the end of anything. Procrastination was tried and convicted of thievery, after an investigation done by employers and school administrators around the country. He was found to be mentally unstable, constantly barraging others with self-sabotage and suicide attempts… especially by those aforementioned, sleep-deprived college kids who tried to make up their grades after spending so much time with him. Most notably, he was the one-handed assassin of the beloved Opportunity, on one fateful day when he came knocking.
Procrastination will be buried in an unmarked grave. True to character, the arrangements never got around to being completed. Memorial contributions may be made to the Workaholics Fund, an account set up for consoling the survivors left behind.
Perhaps it is for the best. Procrastination, may you rest in peace, as the rest of us toil on without you.
The Obituary of Procrastination
It was inevitable. Sooner or later, his time had to come. My close friend, Tim E. Procrastination, has finally been laid to rest, after dying right at the last minute. As I enshroud the last remnants of his existence, I reflect on the impact and reputation that he left behind.
Although uncertain about the exact date of birth, Procrastination is commonly thought to have come into being about the same time as his rival, Hard Work. Both were inseparable since the beginning, although many would remark that they often seemed to be heading in opposite directions.
Procrastination was an inventor, by profession, although many of his pet projects never paid up in the end. His work was known to have widespread influence over everything from Internet surfing to bathroom scales. He was particularly popular among the college crowd … coming up with such creative outlets such as caffeine addictions and all-nighters.
Unfortunately, things quickly took a turn for the worse, leaving Procrastination with a notorious reputation. He lived a full and varied life, but sadly could never seem to get to the end of anything. Procrastination was tried and convicted of thievery, after an investigation done by employers and school administrators around the country. He was found to be mentally unstable, constantly barraging others with self-sabotage and suicide attempts… especially by those aforementioned, sleep-deprived college kids who tried to make up their grades after spending so much time with him. Most notably, he was the one-handed assassin of the beloved Opportunity, on one fateful day when he came knocking.
Procrastination will be buried in an unmarked grave. True to character, the arrangements never got around to being completed. Memorial contributions may be made to the Workaholics Fund, an account set up for consoling the survivors left behind.
Perhaps it is for the best. Procrastination, may you rest in peace, as the rest of us toil on without you.
|
