Remember this: had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there.

“He shall choose our inheritance for us.” — Psalm 47:4

• Like taking road trips with friends and having those heart-to-heart discussions in the darkness of the car
• Or seeing your entire family hold hands to pray together over Thanksgiving
• Or witnessing a breathtaking sunset that God painted in your favorite colors after a hard day of work
• Or holding a newborn baby
• Or watching newlywed friends decorate their first Christmas tree together
• Or singing psalms until the tears run down your face
• Or staying up late just to be together and laugh (even when you can't remember why the next day)

I've been thinking a lot about happiness lately. It's those brief moments when heaven and earth collide and, just for awhile, things feel right with the world. Life seems to shine a little brighter, we breathe a little deeper, and we linger a little longer.

It's a strange phenomenon to be happy in this world. Long-term happiness is often viewed as something reserved for the delusional and unrealistic dreamers. After all, we know these moments can't last forever. Sooner or later, the circumstances change, and the emotional roller-coaster dips again.

"How happy a person is depends on the depth of his gratitude." - John Miller

The Bible so often interchanges the words 'blessed' and 'happy.' Being blessed with something means that there is a Giver. Any happiness that comes from that blessing is ultimately praise to the One who gave it.

We have been chosen. Forgiven. Redeemed. Delivered. Reconciled. Established. Completed. It's because "Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that He might bring us to God..." (1 Peter 3:18)

That's happiness.

"The one who knows and rests in the sovereign grace of God should be the happiest saint. Don't be a sour or glum or hostile false advertisement for the glory of God's grace. Praise it. Rejoice in it. And don't let that be a show. Do it in your closet until it is spilling over in the pulpit and in the commons." - J. Piper

~ Beth

"Do small things as if they were great, because of the majesty of Jesus Christ - who works them in us and who lives our life; and great things as small and easy, because of His omnipotence." - Hudson Taylor

How many of us have been blind in our prayers? Look back and think of the prayers you thought had not been answered but now find that God has answered with a bigger manifestation than you ever dreamed. God has trusted you in the most intimate way He could trust you, with an absolute silence, not of despair but of pleasure, because He saw you could stand a much bigger revelation than you had at the time.

Some prayers are followed by silence because they are wrong, others because they are bigger than we can understand. Jesus stayed where He was - a positive staying, because He loved Martha and Mary. Did they get Lazarus back? They got infinitely more, they got to know the greatest truth mortal beings ever knew - that Jesus Christ is the Resurrection and the Life. It will be a wonderful moment when we stand before God and find that the prayers we clamored for in early days and imagined were never answered, have been answered in the most amazing way, and that God's silence has been the sign of the answer. If we always want to be able to point to something and say, "This is the way God answered my prayer," God cannot trust us yet with His silence.

It couldn’t be true. Abraham looked over at his sleeping son, Isaac, and watched as the moonlight sent silvery streaks over his peaceful tanned face. Itseemed like just yesterday that Abraham had gazed at the star-studded midnight sky as God told him to expect many generations. At his old age, having children was almost laughable. Yet, God kept his promises, and Abraham was now looking at his son. His son! Isaac had grown up and was the light of the old man’s eyes. But now, he could not fathom what he was hearing.

“Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon the mountains which I will tell you.”

It was true. He had heard God correctly. Tears slid down the old man’s wrinkled cheeks as he grasped his son’s hand. Isaac had been given by God, Abraham could not deny that… but now God wanted him back? Questions and doubts rose in Abraham’s mind -- Why, God? Why did you give him if you only wanted to take him away again? He shook his head resolutely, as if to rid himself of the tormenting questions.

With a sigh, Abraham lifted his eyes away from the sleeping boy and out to the eastern sky. It would be light in a few hours. The rising sun would soon silhouette the mountain on which they would climb. He had wrestled long and hard with himself, as he struggled between his love for his son and his love for God. The time had come. Abraham slowly unclasped his fingers and released his son’s hand. He had made the decision.

______________________________________________

The story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22 has often been a passage that we turn to in order to read an account of faith. I’ve been musing on the life of this patriarch this morning… trying to “shake the sand out of my sandals” as I put myself in his shoes. Have you ever stopped to consider all of the emotions that must have come surging through Abraham’s veins following the command from God? The Bible doesn’t give an account of his inner turmoil or agony, but I can imagine how it must have been.

Every word that God spoke in this command must have been a sword right to the heart of Abraham. God knew what he cherished the most and He was asking nothing less than complete surrender of the one thing that encompassed everything that Abraham loved.

Only hours later, Abraham would stand on the mountain – with the glistening blade of the knife poised against the blue sky – making the decision once and for all. He would have to prove that his faith was real … not just a casual belief when it was convenient, but a living, thriving, active faithfulness to God and His promises.

I can never seem to get past the agony of that mountain climb in my mind. Perhaps it is because that is the place in the story that I most often find myself … wrestling inside with what I KNOW to be true and what I FEEL. Maybe Abraham didn’t struggle with this … but I know I would have. This is my Isaac: my joy. My promise of the future. Why would I give it up? All rational thought would have said to hang on to what I can see about my future, rather than releasing the only thread of “hope” that my eyes could see. It is an upward struggle against the flesh – to come to that point of suppressing what I “feel” in order that I might take hold of the truth that awaits on the mountaintop.

John Calvin says it this way: “Therefore, in order that we may become docile and obedient to God, it is profitable for us that we should be deprived of our own wisdom, and that nothing should be left us, but to resign ourselves to be led according to His will.” By releasing Isaac in his heart (and thus making it possible to even entertain the thought of slaying him according to God’s command), Abraham was letting go of any earthly wisdom that he possessed, and choosing rather to throw himself completely upon the mercy and truth of his Father. He was saying by his actions: “It is the LORD. Let Him do what seems good to Him.”

If I am to become a useful vessel in the hands of Almighty God, this lesson of surrender is absolutely crucial. “God, by His word, calls us to part with all for Christ, all our sins, tho’ they have been as a right hand or a right eye, or an Isaac; all these things that are rivals with Christ for the sovereignty of our heart; and we must cheerfully let them all go.” (John Wesley)

The beauty of this surrender lies in the character of God Himself. He is not requiring us to give up these lesser joys – without promising to fill us with the Greater Joy.

“Those that are willing to part with anything for God, shall have it made up to them with unspeakable advantage. The promise (verse 18) doubtless points at the Messiah, and the grace of the gospel. Hereby we know the loving-kindness of God our Savior towards sinful man, in that he hath not withheld his Son, his only Son, from us. Hereby we perceive the love of Christ, in that he gave himself a sacrifice for our sins. Yet He lives, and calls to sinners to come to Him, and partake of His blood-bought salvation. He calls to His redeemed people to rejoice in Him, and to glorify Him.” (Matthew Henry)

May this kind of love constrain me to live for something more than just myself. His grace is enough. Whatever is dearest on earth to me pales in comparison to the sacrifice that He laid down for my salvation. May it be said of us, as it was of Abraham …

“No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what He had promised.” (Romans 4:20)

Picture from Oregon coast – October 2008.

One of the beauties of living as a child of the King is that - no matter what stage of life we are in - we can be channels of His truth. I've been the witness at many weddings this summer and it has been a pure joy to see how God has united the hearts of many dear friends to be a picture to the watching world of His relationship with His Bride, the church. Seeing these beautiful, God-honoring love stories right before my eyes reminds me that there is a deeper purpose for marriage - one uniquely invented and sustained by God Himself. Here is a sneak peek into a few of these celebrations - along with some thoughts about the effects of this blessed union on the individual, couple, and to the world.

"We are souls living in bodies. Therefore, when we really fall in love, it isn't just a physical attraction. If it's just that, it won't last. Ideally, it's also a spiritual attraction. God has opened our eyes and let us see into someone's soul. We have fallen in love with the inner person, the person who's going to live forever. That is why God is the greatest asset to romance. He thought it up in the first place. Include Him in every part of your marriage, and He will lift it above the level of the mundane to something rare and beautiful and lasting." ~ Peter Marshall

"Marriage is not a federation of two sovereign states. It is a union - domestic, social, spiritual, physical. It is the fusion of two hearts - the union of two lives - the coming together of two tributaries, which, after being joined in marriage will flow in the same channel in the same direction... carrying the same burdens of responsibility and obligation." ~ Peter Marshall

Welcome one another . . . for the glory of God.” That is God’s word for your marriage. Thank him for it; thank him for leading you thus far; ask him to establish your marriage, to confirm it, sanctify it, and preserve it. So your marriage will be “for the praise of his glory.” Amen. ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

One of my favorite parts of history has always been the pioneer era. I was the child gallivanting around my neighborhood in braids and mismatched sunbonnets, wondering why we couldn’t just all live in log cabins and play fiddle music. (I admit that my romanticized notions of such life have been largely influenced by Little House on the Prairie.) One thing I read that pioneers often did was “pan for gold.” Of course, I eagerly tried that too - rather unsuccessfully, I might add.

Well, gone are the days of plaid aprons, but I realized tonight that I still do “pan for gold” – in a different way. Rather than sifting through rocks on a creek bed, I find myself sorting out more “grownup” thoughts through pen and paper. Yeah… journaling.

I don’t know about you, but my journals usually consist of just the “raw data” – the unpolished flow of emotions that just spill out onto the page, without much rhyme, reason, or readability (hence the reason I marvel at such people like Jim Elliot whose private journals are incredibly profound.) Somehow, thankfully, God always seems to sift through my jumbled thoughts by showing me some shining nugget of truth from His Word.

I found myself doing some pretty intense “panning for gold” tonight and wanted to share with you an incredibly precious truth that God brought to the surface in my life.

Why? Because sometimes we just need the simple truth. Forget the flowery words, creative introductions, detailed outlines, or sophisticated profundity. When life gets confusing, there is one solution for peace… and that is a mind that is resting on Christ’s truth alone (Isaiah 26:3). The rest of the silt will just fade away.

So, here is a little treasure for you to take hold of right now. Perhaps it will be a shining light of hope in whatever situation you are going through, as it has been in mine tonight.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

(Isaiah 41:10)

This is saying to me…

My precious child, do not be afraid… of being lonely, rejected, ashamed or unloved. Remember that I am with you. I’m not just ‘within call’ – but I am right here beside you. Don’t be dismayed – don’t be gazing around you with anxiety. Remember I am your Eloheim, your Creator, Preserver, Transcendent God, Mighty, and Strong. I have three promises for you. Are you weak? I will strengthen you – cause you to be strong, alert, courageous, brave, stout, bold, solid, and hard. Are you in want? I will be your help, your support, your aid. Are you ready to fall? I will uphold you – you are in the palm of my hand – grasped, supported, held fast. I’m hanging on to you with my right hand – the one that is full of righteousness, dealing forth both rewards and punishments. I am the Lord God, and I am faithful to my promises.

Trusting God along with you,

Beth

With a great sigh, I collapsed into my bed. Every muscle protested in rebellion and my tired brain seemed tied up in knots. Tears stung the back of my eyes, but I was too tired to even cry.

It was the middle of a busy week – Wednesday, to be exact – and it felt like it should be Friday. Already I had reached my limit and my date with my pillow was long overdue.

As I sank back on the disheveled covers that had been forsaken in great haste that morning, my mind flashed the scenes from the past couple of days. Shuffling papers, answering phones, painting walls, cooking food for a crowd, meeting with people, juggling details and learning a new job had taken more energy than I had to give. The fulfillment that used to come from being “busy” had turned into the tyrannical dictator of exhaustion.

As my brain drifted out of consciousness, I had a sinking feeling in my heart. Even with all that had been accomplished, I still felt like I had failed.

What is wrong with me? I moaned inwardly. Sleep overcame before I could answer.

The next morning, the cruel sound of the alarm clock jolted my senses all too soon, I once again found myself at work… still rubbing sleep out of my eyes. The question that haunted my dreams the night before returned. Why do I feel like this? I am doing what I’m supposed to do … serving God. Isn’t that supposed to make me fulfilled?

In the back of my mind, I knew otherwise. I knew that at the end of the day, it’s not enough to have a busy life. Even a busy serving life.

With a guilty sigh, I opened up my Bible … trying not to think about how many days had passed since I last truly read it, beyond just the routine reading. Ouch.

God had someone for me to meet … again.

We had met before. In fact, I could see her profile in much of my life, even though she lived and died around two thousand years ago. She was the one “distracted with much serving.” (Luke 10:39). In my mind’s eye, I could see her slaving over the menus, checking the vegetables to see if they were overdone, making sure the plates were out on the table on time. I could see the pile of papers in the back office, silently screaming for attention. I could see her calendar that was filled with red markings and circled events – trying making sure nothing fell through the cracks.

It all sounded way too familiar.

Jesus had this gentle rebuke for his weary and frustrated child: “You are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.” (verse 41) I love the tenderness and compassion that comes through His words. He knows that we as busy people tend to find our identity and affirmation based on what we accomplish. Serving? Yes, it’s a good thing. But He cares more about our hearts than about our actions. He wants us to focus on the one thing: Himself.

As I read through the story and saw the contrast between Martha and her sister Mary, I thought about what it means to live and work in the presence of Jesus.

When we go to church, we enter into a sanctuary (a refuge, a consecrated place) to worship the Lord. Living our lives out in His presence is living a “sanctuary life.” This is a heart attitude that goes much deeper than our “to do” list.

There is a daily battle that is raging inside of us over what we love most – God or something else. If Jesus doesn’t have our hearts, then everything that we do is simply wasted energy. What He really wants are servants who are willing to sit at His feet – to have the continual attitude of communion with God regardless of the activities that surround our day. He then becomes the strength and the joy behind the work that our hands find to do.

That is the kind of life I want to live.

This morning, I woke up to the bright sunrays dancing off the walls of my bedroom. For the first time, I didn’t have to wonder where I was. After several weeks of seeing those same sunrays dance off of hotel rooms, guest bedrooms, and church walls of India, I am now back in the place I call home.

It’s a good place to be.

Many people have asked about my travels. “So, how was it??” Oh, the words can never say…

Did you meet any interesting people on the airplanes?

My favorite was the dear elderly lady during my flight to Portland who was estatic about the possibility of Jesus coming back while we were in the air. :)

How did you like the food?

If I could spend my life eating with my fingers like they do in India, I would.

Did you see anything interesting?

Do mountain ranges, three oceans, volcanoes, and wild elephants count?

I love the questions. Even if I don’t have answers. But one reoccurring question that I can never seem to really answer is this:

Are you back to normal yet?

Normal.

I’ll have to think about that one.

It’s true, I’m over jetlag. I’m not stared at in the grocery store anymore. I’m not swatting mosquitos, running through jam-packed traffic, or hearing security guard whistles in my sleep. I’m sleeping in a bed, driving my car back to work, laughing with my brothers, and doing all the things I did before (although I’m still taking those malaria pills!) I’m back in the familiar places with the familiar people. I know those dear people mean well when they ask about my physical wellbeing. But deep inside, I know that my normal – my spiritual “normal” – will never be the same… nor should it be.

Traveling is a very reflective exercise. Since my feet have been on solid ground for many days now, I’ve had time to think. I’ve gone through my pictures, re-read my journal, re-lived the memories, and have done a lot of talking with my Father about it all.

Being back home launches me into a new kind of journey … that of reconciling where I’ve been with where I am. That journey alone has possibilities of changing my life all over again.

It’s hard.

In India, I was a person with one mission, one goal. The people there didn’t know anything about me except that I was from America, I had two hands, and I was there for them. The past was irrelevant and the future was unknown, but the present was a new adventure every day with God. I would see new places, touch new hands, look into new eyes… and see Him in it all. I was surrounded by people who passionately loved God and desired to see His Word spread – and it was contagious. In the mornings, He would meet me though His Word on the roof and give me new vigor and perspective about everything in life… in that faraway place where I was undistracted and completely surrendered. I was totally and completely there.

It was beautiful. It was humbling. And I want to be that person…

Here

The problem with “normal” for me is that it is just the opposite. “Normal” means reverting back to yesterday, conforming to what is usual and average, and forgetting the things that have changed. Normal means living a life just like everyone else on the planet, caring about the things they do… living normal lives, experiencing normal problems, dying normal deaths. I’m scared of being normal.

I don't ever want to forget those faces that have woven their way into the depths of my heart…

…or how powerful it is to worship our God together, regardless of race, language, or culture

… or what it’s like to spend every day focusing on proclaiming Christ

… or the humbling realization that God is choosing to speak through someone so inadequate, worthless, and helpless as I am

... or what it’s like to see through His compassionate eyes… to see real people and not just the sea of faces

… or what it’s like to face battles larger than myself and to see His victories

… or how life changes with an eternal perspective

… or that Jesus is enough for me.

It’s that kind of change that keeps me running back to the Cross, continually realizing my own sinful nature and the high calling of being different for the sake of Christ. Continuing that kind of mission vision here on my home missionfield requires a continual surrender of will and a reliance on His grace… but it’s the same, because He is the same God both here and there. That is the sweetest thing in the world.

May I never forget. And may I never be normal again. :)

~ Beth

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you" - Matthew 6:33

What Words Just Can’t Say

“All your rejoicing in all things should therefore be a rejoicing in the Cross where all your blessings were purchased for you at the cost of the death of the Son of God, Jesus Christ.” (John Piper, Don’t Waste Your Life, p.57)

During four days last week, Dr. Rao taught a series of sessions here in India that unfolded the story of the Bible from cover to cover. He gave an overview of the Bible, highlighting the major themes and clearly explaining the gospel message in greater detail. Many of the people who came were Kannada speaking and listened very attentively as the message was translated.

On the last evening, our translator led the group in prayer in Kannada. Listening to these precious people pray to the One True God in their native language is one of the most beautiful things on earth. Although I couldn’t understand what he was saying, I could tell that it was heart-felt and very meaningful. I found out later that two women had given their lives over to Jesus Christ during that prayer. Praise the Lord!

I am continually humbled and amazed at the wonderful love of Jesus Christ. Being able to continually focus my mind again and again on the life-changing power of the gospel has been both refreshing and challenging. Going through the five colors of the Wordless Book with the children helped me to see that we must have the faith of a child in order to believe. Explaining the bridge illustration to two children afterwards reminded me of God’s whole plan of salvation as He bridged the gap between us and God. Writing out my salvation testimony to share with the community that gathered for our presentation reminded me of my own story and His powerful saving work. Hearing the salvation testimonies of my other team members as they each spoke a different evening spoke volumes of God’s sovereignty in calling people unto Himself. That’s the power of the cross.

One thing that God showed me this week is that the impact of the Gospel is truly HIS redeeming work in people’s lives. God can use people to speak His words, but there is ultimately not any effort on our part that can draw people to Him. “For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.” (2 Corinthians 4).

We have been seeing God move in the hearts of people around us, and we covet your prayers as this time of ministry here continues. The pastor has told us of many people who have shown interest – even Hindu people who have been attending church services. Hearts that were previously closed to the gospel (as in the case of one young woman who works here in the church) have been opened within the past few weeks. We are praising God for the visible work of His hand … and even more as He works in the unseen. Praise His Holy Name!

The sounds of running feet, laughter, enthusiastic singing, and quiet shhhs have been familiar ones lately. The lyrics from the Wordless Book song: "My heart was dark with sin until the Savior came in…” ring through the halls and the sounds of children reciting their verses echo the enthusiasm that they have shown all week. As VBS continues here in India, we are also continuing to see evidences of God speaking to individual hearts as well.

"Tell me more about Jesus, Akka.” Those few words have been the highlight of this week for me. We have been blessed to have many spiritual conversations with these young children, many of whom have some very profound questions. We are encouraged that so many have come to VBS already having Christian influences, and it is a blessing to help them understand more about Jesus.

The last few days, we have been focusing on the concepts of sin, the price that Jesus paid on Calvary, and the need for forgiveness, using the corresponding colors of black, red, and white to illustrate the message. We are so thankful that the Lord is continuing to work in the lives of these children, in spite of our own weaknesses, inadequacies, and language barriers. Although all of the fruit may not be immediately evident, we are confident that God is doing a great work here.

God has blessed this VBS with many more children than expected, so we are spending our afternoons preparing even more supplies and craft materials for this influx of children. Today (Thursday), we had a total of 79 children, with more expected for our final day tomorrow.

Thank you for your prayers this week. Please continue to pray for us as we prepare and teach our final day tomorrow… that the seeds that have been planted would grow and bring forth much fruit. Pray especially for the children that have expressed a serious interest in learning more about Jesus – specifically Ashivarya, Jonathan, Rohan, Hannah, and several others. Many of these children have already made a commitment to Jesus Christ, but have many questions and concerns about their faith – especially when it relates to the culture around them.

Last night, Pastor George read portions of Psalm 89 during our team prayer meeting. It reminded me where our focus should be as we continue into this last day.

"Blessed is the people that know the joyful sound: they shall walk, O Lord, in the light of Thy countenance. In Thy name shall they rejoice all the day: and in Thy righteousness shall they be exalted. For Thou art the glory of their strength: and in Thy favor our horn shall be exalted. For the LORD is our defence; and the Holy One of Israel is our King." (Psalm 89:15-18)

~ Beth

Pictures:

Top right: Maria Delphia enjoying a rousing game of "Duck, Duck, Goose" before VBS began

Middle: Pastor Babu translating for the Kannada class

Bottom right: Nirmala answers questions from a few young girls

(All pictures courtesy of Nick Rao)

My God is so great!
So strong and so mighty
There’s nothing my God cannot do!