•Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I had almost forgotten how beautiful and inspiring a sunrise can be.
This morning, I’ve been watching God slowly awakensthe world by turning the black midnight sky into an illumination of light golden hues. After several hours of darkness, I hear the birds start their happy song – as if to sing a prelude to the sun as it makes its appearance. The world is slowly awakening from its slumber with a fresh start and hope for a new day. While the sunrise itself only lasts a few short moments, the effects last the entire day.
As I contemplate this gift of a new morning, I wanted to share with you a sunrise that has also been happening in my life today. Although the sunrise outside my window is beautiful, witnessing the SON rise to a new height of glory out of the dark midnight of my soul … that is breathtaking.
Honestly, it’s hard to write about the ‘spiritual sunrises’ because one must first admit that there is darkness. It’s hard to acknowledge the darkness, because it destroys the illusion of happy, perfect people who have it all together. After all, aren’t we supposed to make God look good so that others will want what we have? :-P Therefore, we put forth our smiling faces and keep the darkness hidden away inside. Unfortunately, the darkness always has a way of revealing itself, since there is no true light inside to cast it away.
I found myself on my knees this morning dealing with that darkness. It’s been a hard morning – a struggle against my own flesh and what I know God wants. The words from Psalm 51 seemed to jump off the page: “Behold, You delight in truth in the inward being…” (v.6) I was tired of the charade of living the Christian life as an outward act, and yet not being alive inside. It reminded me of when I used to act in drama plays as a child – the whole point being whether I knew the right lines to say at the right time and how to move and act with an audience watching me. It didn’t matter whether I was actually the character – just as long as I pretended well enough. This morning, I knew that there was this chasm of sin that was separating me from communion with God and I couldn’t pretend anymore.
God does not desire the things that I deem as “sacrifices” on his behalf – all of my “piety” of discipline, good works, and religious words mean absolutely nothing without one thing: “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17)
As slowly and as sure as the sunrise, I’m beginning to have a better understanding of what grace really means. How can God continually forgive and love someone who is constantly disappointing and doubting Him? I am so grateful that abiding in Him does not rely completely on my diligence and faithfulness. In the midst of the darkness, God brought a ray of sunlight that shone directly into my heart. It is only by faith that I can live as a true Christian… both inwardly and outwardly. Not faith in myself, surely, for that kind of faith will definitely disappoint. But it is the faith in Jesus Christ Himself – that he is able to keep me from falling, that His grace is enough to forgive, and that His strength is sufficient for my weaknesses.
“It is the faith that continually closes its eyes to the weakness of the creature, and finds its joy in the sufficiency of an Almighty Savior, that makes the soul strong and glad” (Andrew Murray)
That sunrise, my friends, gives me the strength to face another day.
”Let us know, let us pursue the knowledge of the Lord. His going forth is established as the morning…” – Hosea 6:3
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